A Writer's Collection

Still Breathing

I'm different. You don't understand. I shouldn't let you in. So I let you down. 

You said you like me. It made me scared and happy at the same time. But I panic. I can't say the same.

Opening my heart has been hard. Breaking down my walls is difficult. 

If I will, there's no going back. I'd be vulnerable. You'll be able to see me differently. Then you'll change your mind. Once you do, my whole self will wither. There will be nothing left of me.

That's a pain I'll never want to feel. That's the kind of nightmare I dreaded for so long. Sometimes I'd rather choose the alone kind of pain, then that utter vulnerability to receive all kinds of pain.

Yet my heart is somewhere else. Ugh, I want to kill it. This feeling is eating me inside and I don't want what I dread to come back to me as it curves like a boomerang.

The whole idea is stupid. But it's something I'll never even expect. The course is in a line and in that line, everything and everyone will be hurt. I'm part of that line, and I caused someone's pain. Then someone else caused mine. It's a cycle but never a circle. It's neverending.

But I'm still breathing. I'm doing all I can. Nothing changes. It's always the same. 

Is it called stupid if you're hopeless yet you're hoping? If yes, then I'm stupid. 

That's my course of life.

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STILL BREATHING- MAYDAY PARADE

Give me any reason to believe

'Cause I swear I'm done here

'Cause I've seen a bigger picture

And I'm looking for some answers

Tell me that it's worth it

'Cause I'm doing all I can to fight it

And I've never been this scared

And my moment's finally here

Time's racing (Please slow down)

I got to find my way out

I'm hopeless (But hoping)

My lungs won't fail me now

'Cause I'm still breathing

It's hard to be a man

But I'm doing all I can

I'm ready to give this all I have

I'm ready to be amazed

'Cause I'm standing here alone

Trying to make this life my own

And nothing will keep this heart from beating

I'm still breathing

Promise me some dignity

If I were to stand and die here

'Cause my heart is somewhere else

It's a pain I've never felt

Time's racing (Please slow down)

I got to find my way out

I'm hopeless (But hoping)

My lungs won't fail me now

'Cause I'm still breathing

It's hard to be a man

But I'm doing all I can

I'm ready to give this all I have

I'm ready to be amazed

'Cause I'm standing here alone

Trying to make this life my own

And nothing will keep this heart from beating

I'm still breathing

Where do we all find love?

Where do we all find love?

It's hard to be a man

But I'm doing all I can

I'm ready to give this all I have

I'm ready to be amazed (I'm still breathing)

'Cause I'm standing here alone

Trying to make this life my own (I'm still breathing)

And nothing will keep this heart from beating

I'm still breathing