He Was Never Mine

Chapter Two:You hurt me so bad

I have never been a person who holds back tears, puts her head high and behaves like nothing is wrong when deep down,it's really killing them. People talk of being strong, but that word has never applied in my life especially when it comes to matters of the heart. So when I got the news that David was marrying Kirsty who happens to be my best friend and that I was invited as the chief brides maid, I could practically hear my heart shattering and the pieces falling one by one. For a moment, I couldn't breath and all I could do was stare blankly at the space. For a moment my eyes became so blurry that I couldn't make out that the person standing infront of me was my daughter.

As she watched me break down into tears, a pain I couldn't even explain ripped through my chest. A kind of pain I never thought I'd feel, a kind of pain that had been caused by a person I had least expected. The kind of pain you only read in books and watch in movies, but this isn't a movie or a book, it is my life and that alone is enough to make me want wallow myself in pity.

"Mommy, why are you crying, "I remember her asking.

"It hurts baby, it hurts so much, "I told her still crying.

"Where does it hurt ma? "

"Right here baby, "I told her clutching my chest tightly, "but it doesn't matter baby. I'll be fine very soon. Go to sleep."

"Who hurt you mommy? "

I didn't even know what to answer her. How was I supposed to tell her that her father, the man I had spent five years telling Mia about, the father I had praised so much had hurt me so bad? How was I to tell her that my best friend, her supposed god mother had betrayed me in the worst way ever? How was I to tell her that she would never be able to grow up without a father because I refuse to let my daughter call Kirsty mom?

Quickly wiping my tears, I smiled lovingly at her and told her to go sleep since it was getting late.

"Mommy don't cry. I promise to make you happy and proud so that you will never cry again, "and with that she ran all the way to her room. That statement alone surprised me but made my heart flutter with so much joy. For a five year old, Mia sure had a way with words that sometimes shocked me.

I wanted to be angry at Kirsty, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't bring myself to hurt her. I remember telling her to keep an eye on David for me, to make sure nothing bad happens to him and to also ensure none of  those thirsty thots came any close to my man. But what I couldn't remember telling her was to go ahead and get married to him and then invite me to their so called wedding as their chief bridesmaid.The mere thought of the two of them together made me want to rip my heart out and just die. The pain was unbearable, I thought it'd be the end of me.

But it wasn't, because here I am in a taxi headed home, coming from my best friend and ex boyfriend's wedding. Welcome to my perfect life!

"Miss we're here, "the taxi driver's voice pulls me out of my trance. I quickly hand him his money and get out of the car.

Big cute puppy eyes light up the moment I open the door to my apartment.

"Mommy! "Mia squeals running towards me. I wonder how someone can have so much energy at this time of the night.

"Hey baby, how was your day? "

"Boring. You promised to take me shopping, "she whines while pouting. She looks cute and I have to stop myself feom reaching out for my phone and taking a pic of her.

"I know baby.. I know. Right now mommy is very tired and sleepy. Let's make a date tomorrow, okay? "

She nods excitedly and goes back to watching the TV.

The moment I close the door to my bedroom, I sink on the floor and can no longer hold back the tears rolling down my eyes. Acting like them getting married wasn't a big deal had sucked up all my energy. I cry for all the things that had been going on. I cry for the love of my life whom I had lost to my best friend. I cry for my mother whom I had not been in touch with for sometime,not because I didn't want to, but because of how selfish people could be sometimes. I cursed the day my father had to run away with a woman younger than my mother. All the men in my life had proved to be nothing but stone cold heart breakers. The life I once thought was perfect had now been shumbled by only two people's decisions to hurt me.

But there is nothing I can do to change what had happened. There is nothing I can do to undo what had already been done. I rise up from the floor, send a quick text to Kirsty telling her I had arrived safely and get into bed. If there is something that life had taught me was to have faith in tomorrow. With that in mind, I drift to sleep.