How I hate him - ft. Luke Hemmings and 5sos

Party

It was the day of Sam's party, but I wasn't sure whether I should go. On one side I wanted to go: I'd been looking forward to this and didn't want to disappoint Sam. Some time with my friends would be good for me after the events of the previous days. On the other side there was the problem with my face. Although the bruises somehow had managed to fade a little, it wasn't enough to cover up the damage. The bruises were now a weird shade of yellow and purple, so in that way, it wasn't any better.
But I guess I had no choice: Mila and Alyssa were so excited that it was impossible to cancel at the last moment. 
Besides, I could use the distraction. Luke was still on my mind a lot, and not in a positive way. He was coming home tomorrow and at times my nerves would get the best of me.

Just at the moment I was thinking about my oh-so-absent boyfriend, he sent me a text.
From: Luke -Hey, I have something to tell you. Can I call you tonight?

I quickly sent him a text back - who knew when he would text back? - but my mind was running like crazy. Something told me that it was not something positive he had to tell me. He was coming back tomorrow, but surely it was so bad that it couldn't wait.
My first thought went to the girl's voice I heard in his last call. Or something had happened to him, Calum, Ashton or Mike...

With my mind now running wild, I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the day. My thoughts went back and forth between the party, Luke and Louis. I hadn't heard from the latter so I didn't know if he was fine.
When I visited Louis later that day - something I knew would cheer me up - one of the nurses stopped me as Louis was going up to his room to grab something. When he was out of sight, she said, "Hey Jessy, I noticed that it really helps Louis to have a friend like you. He does consider you as a friend already, you know. All I'm asking is, please treat him well. You may sometimes have to be careful around him, and that's not going to be easy. But please, don't drop him when he needs you."

"I will not do that," I assured her, "I'm happy to spend time with him, so I definitely won't hurt him." 
Leaving it at that, I left to find my friend already sitting in a couch in the corner of the room. He snapped his sketch pad shut before I had the chance to glance at his drawings. Understanding that it was personal, I didn't pressure him. Instead we talked about our day, neither of ours being very interesting. At first I thought that bringing up Sam's party would be painful, but he seemed just happy to hear about it. Of course, he was missing out on things like that, but parties had never been his thing anyway. 

When I got home I put on the outfit I had planned and started on my foundation. Mascara, black eye shadow and a little red lipstick did the job well enough. The only thing that someone could see was that my eye was a little swollen. Besides, it would probably be dark at the party anyway. 

Just as I looked at the time, Luke called me. To be honest I had completely forgotten about his text, but now all the bad thoughts came back all at once. 

"Hello?" I answered, my voice trembling.
"Hey," my boyfriend said, "Well, I can better say it now, so..."
"What is it?" I asked, needing to get it over with. 
I heard him cough and he bluntly said, "I have been cheating on you. The voice you heard in that call belonged to the girl I betrayed you with. And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier, but I didn't want to. I thought it would be better if you heard it before I got home."

"You've got to be kidding me," I raised my voice, not caring anymore if someone else in the house heard me. He now needed to listen to me and I was so mad. I wasn't going to take any more bullshit from him anymore. 
"What the fuck, Luke. You've cheated on me for a few weeks! Of course you should have told it earlier! What did you think? I'd be more okay with it if you told me later? I have been worrying for weeks, this is just unbelievable..."

"Calm down," he had the nerve to say and I yelled back, "I won't calm down! Don't come with bullshit excuses, because I won't hear them. Rot in hell, you lying shit! Oh, and if it wasn't clear enough by now, we're done. By the way," I continued, now letting all my anger out, "I completely get why you caused Caroline to be put away in a mental hospital."

"How did you-"
"Right, I had to find that out by myself. Bye Luke!"

And with that being said, I ended the call. I chucked my phone in my bag and stormed out the door, where Mila was waiting fo rme. Crying wasn't even on my mind now. I had done that enough in the past weeks. Luke just made my blood boil and anger was the only thing I felt right now. 
"Let's fucking go." I said and pulled her along with me. She gave me a questioning look.
"Don't even ask," I snapped, "Luke had been cheating on me. What a surprise, huh? I should've believed anyone who told me he would." I hissed and we walked over to Sam's house. 
I pushed the door open and after greeting Alyssa I made myself a strong alcoholic drink. It may not be the best solution for my anger and hurt feelings, but I was definitely getting drunk tonight. Anything to make that shitty ex-boyfriend of mine disappear from my thoughts. 

Walking into Sam, he smiled and I gave him a kiss on his cheek. I felt his hand on my lower back, but for once I didn't slap his hand away. Instead I smiled and asked how I looked.
"You look amazing." Sam grinned and the two of us walked over to Alyssa and Mila. I downed my drink in one sip and grabbed another one. Looking at Mila, who was smiling like crazy and talking to Toby, I could feel myself getting happier again.
Well, talking... more like kissing every two seconds. Gross.
I turned to face Alyssa, who was a little tipsy already. I laughed at her drunk behavior. And when she noticed Sam standing beside me she grinned.
"Hey Jessy's boy! Isn't he hot?"
I sighed and slapped her on the arm. "I'm not her boy." Sam said, but we just laughed. 
"Oh, you definitely are tonight." Alyssa said, "I've never liked Hemmings, and he's been cheating on her so you better take a chance!"
I sighed again and rolled my eyes at her. Mila and I had told her earlier about Luke and we should've know she would tell Sam. When Alyssa was drunk, she was even more loose-lipped. 
"Sorry Sam, I don't know if you were planning on that, but I'm not drunk enough. Yet."

The truth was that I wouldn't mind if he kissed me. However wrong the reason, I couldn't deny that Sam was good-looking. 
Apparently I said that out loud, because the second after that, he did kiss me. 
He then grinned and went to get me another drink. It was my third drink already and I was now a little buzzed, but I wasn't regretting that. 
When he was out of sight Alyssa said, "You know it's not illegal to kiss the hottest guy in school, right? What I'm trying to say is that I know what I would do in your position..."

When Sam came back a little later, I pulled him along with me. I took him to the hallway, where somehow we found an empty spot for us to stand. 
"What are you doing?" he asked when I pushed him against the wall. My boundaries were long gone by then.
"This."
I grabbed his neck and kissed him with passion. Not because I wanted to get revenge on Luke, but because I really wanted to kiss him. All this time I had denied the feelings I never knew I had for him, but not anymore. But when Sam kissed me back, I couldn't help but think 'Take that Luke'. 

Just at the moment I went to kiss Sam again, the front door of the house swung open. Not knowing who it was, I didn't pay attention to the person who had just arrived. People had walked in and out the whole night. 
Slipping my hand under Sam's shirt, I felt him shiver.

But when I heard someone say my name I knew that the newcomer was standing right behind me. I pulled back.
"What do you want?" I said, but then I saw who it was. 

"Luke?"