September 16, 2014

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Dear friend,

Do you have any siblings? I think I mentioned to you how I have a sister. Her name is Sofia, but I call her Sofi. She can be the most annoying 7-year-old little sister a girl could have, but nonetheless, I don't know what I would do without her.

You're probably wondering why I say she's annoying. Well this morning, Sofi decided it would be hilarious to hide my car keys the night before. So, the outcome of that turned into me being late to school. I didn't mind though because it was only the second day of school meaning teachers were more lenient in students being late and I didn't think Physical Education class was all that important. So, I guess I would like to thank Sofi for saving me the sweat...literally.

I am a teacher's aid for my third class, which is nice, because most of the time, Mrs. Kimberly, the school librarian, would just have me arrange books for 10-15 minutes then I would get to do whatever else I wanted, which was reading or writing to you for the remainder of time.

As I was doing my daily arrangement of books, a sight of a long dark-haired girl with green eyes caught my attention. Yes, it was Lauren. I thought to myself that today might really be my lucky day. First having been saved from running a mile to now, being able to see Lauren so early in the day. Lauren made her way to me after talking to Mrs. Kimberly. "So, I guess I'm your library aid partner for the day... Or in this case for the year." Lauren explained how she had a schedule change between her second and third class and therefore, she will be a library aid with me every third period. This made me happy.

I showed Lauren the ins and outs of organizing books, from alphabetical order to genres. After we were finished, we decided to sit down next to each other at one of the wooden circular tables that the library contained. Lauren began to read Mockingjay which she had checked out today as I read my book which was Paper Towns by John Green.

To be quite honest, I didn't read much. I mean I was reading, but not comprehending. There it was again; my thoughts being consumed by the girl who was sat reading next to me. Lauren seemed so focused on the book she was reading that she did not notice me glancing at her from time to time. I hope I don't sound creepy, but I guess this is what people do when they have a crush on someone. For all my 17 years of being on this Earth, I don't think I have ever had a crush on anyone. I have found some boys cute and nice, but they never made me feel the way Lauren was making me feel at this very moment. I was feeling warm and satisfied, but at the same time, I wasn't satisfied, because I wanted to get to know Lauren more instead of sitting here in silence. And yes, I am admitting it, I think I have a crush on Lauren.

After moments of "reading," I managed to utter a couple words, complementing how astonishing my book was. And boy, you would not believe what Lauren said in response, "Well how do you know it's any good if all this time you've been doing nothing but staring at me?" My eyes widened along with my cheeks turning into a tomato. I think I may have stared at Lauren for a couple seconds which felt like an eternity, but she quickly followed up chuckling. "Relax I'm kidding, I know you were staring at Austin right over there," she remarked, pointing to the boy a couple yards from us who was using the computer. I laughed in response and denied her accusations. That boy was the least of my worries. I hadn't even noticed him enter the room. I think I was too focused on Lauren. I told her that sometimes I tend to stare into space when I am bored. I don't think Lauren believed me, but I rather she believes that lie than admit to her that she was the one I was staring at.

I continued reading my book; this time, actually reading and comprehending. Although, I would still get distracted from time to time with the thoughts of Lauren haunting my mind. I don't know what made me want to ask this, but I asked her if she had a boyfriend. Lauren told me how she has a whole line of boys waiting for her. This wasn't hard to believe, but I think Lauren thought I was seriously believing her which I was, so she followed up by saying she was only kidding. To my surprise, Lauren's expression changed which to me indicated that she wanted to tell me something serious and so she did.

Lauren began by telling me how she had a girlfriend whose name was Lucy. Lucy apparently goes to a school twenty minutes away from ours and Lauren had met her through softball. Lauren and Lucy started off as friends, but things escalated quickly and this turned into a relationship that lasted for a while. Well, things ended before summer even began, because Lauren found out how Lucy was messing with another boy at her school. The worst part is, Lauren found out before one of her softball games against Lucy's team. She said she saw the boy's arms wrapped around Lucy romantically and it wasn't like Lucy was trying to hide it either. After the game, Lauren confronted Lucy and the girl laughed in her face asking how she could be so pathetic to believe that she had actually had feelings for a girl. So, Lauren expressed how she felt as though she was just a short fling or a joke to Lucy when in return, Lauren felt the opposite.

Lauren seemed devastated telling me the story and I could tell by the way her voice cracked a little when saying the other girl's name. I should also mention that I think Lauren is still not over Lucy. Though she never stated so, the desolation that rang in her voice expressed otherwise. I tried to comfort her by holding her hand. I'm not sure if I held her hand because I wanted her to know that I was there for her as a friend or that I did it because I wanted her to know that she deserved someone who will truly make her happy. I told her both of those things though, but I guess deep down, I held her hand because I wanted to be the one to make her feel at ease at times and worries like these.

The rest of my day went by as it did yesterday. Only this time, I was bombarded with innumerable amounts of teasing from Ally and Dinah about how deeply I was looking into Lauren's eyes during Art class. Dinah even took a picture of Lauren and I conversating which neither of us knew Dinah took at the time. Dinah sent the picture in hers, Ally's, and I's group chat later that night. Also, Lauren introduced us to her best friend, Normani during lunch. Normani seemed friendly and she was hilarious. Her and Dinah made various jokes during lunch varying from how short Ally was to how Normani used to refer to Lauren as "Lauren the Friendly Ghost" considering how pale she is. Our lunchtime consisted of mainly laughing at and with each other. Normani also mentioned how her parents are away for the weekend and so she invited all of us to a sleepover.

I think I am regaining the normality of my life again. Though it has taken some time, I'm ecstatic at the progress.

Yours Truly,

Camila

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