Random Namjin : knj x ksj

Quince (part2): Namjin

Namjoon's POV:

"Uh-" we both said at the same time.

"You go first." we said again at the same time.

He chuckled humorlessly, "I'll go first. I just have one question."

I nodded so he continued with a bitter smile, "Why?"

"Why?"

That simple question with a complicated answer.

There was so much to say but I didn't know where to start.

Why? Why had I hurt him? Why had I made him question my love for him? Why had I hid things from him? Why had I lost my shit on something he had no fault in? Why had I driven us to the point we are at? Why had I fucked things up between us so bad? Why, why hadn't I fought against and overcome the hurdles? Why had I let myself break his trust and force myself onto him? Why had I r-raped my baby?

Rape. Could I call it that? Was he willing? No. Did he ask me to stop? Yes. Did he enjoy it? I doubt it. Did I listen to his pleas? No. Now, could I call it rape? Yes. I am a rapist.

The lump in my throat couldn't be swallowed. Not anymore. The tears were freely falling down my cheeks now. I made no attempt to stop them either.

Redemption didn't seem like an option. I had taken something pure and tainted it. Can I say I truly love Seokjin? How can you absolutely ruin someone you love in this manner?

My thoughts didn't exactly make me feel better. Infact it made my stomach turn. The next thing I knew I was hurling my intestine out in the toilet with Jin rubbing my back.

I don't deserve him.

Jin's POV:

I held his forehead rubbing circles on his back and waited patiently as he hurled his stomach out of contents which would be my hardwork. There goes the breakfast I made. Wow..

After he was done I filled up a cup of water for him to wash his mouth and drink. After that I gave him his toothbrush topped with paste.

He brushes his teeth quickly and I hand him another cup. Soon he's wiping his mouth with the napkin I gave him.

He walks out with slow heavy steps and I allow him to take his own sweet time.

After a few moments he speaks, "I've been a shitty boyfriend, no- actually I've been a-"

"I don't care Joon." I cut him off.

He looks at me confused.

"I don't care if you've been shitty or fuckall. I want to know why. Why have you been that way?" I say.

"I- I- there's a lot I've kept from you. I was made to keep from you. Which I could only tell you after the companies merged." he explains.

Made to keep from me? He's never one to get blackmailed easily or listen to orders.

"Who asked you to and why? Moreover why did you think you could not tell me? I'd keep my mouth shut. Did you not trust me?" I ask suddenly feeling low.

"No no no no! No no baby no! I trust you more than anything and anyone. It's just that if we told you, you would not allow the transaction and exchange."

"We? Who are these we? Joonie can you stop talking in circles!?"

"Your parents. And my parents. Our parents." he says quickly.

"Look calm down. Just sit. I know you're feeling betrayed but there's an explanation I know you're willing to listen to." he says pushing me down on the couch.

"Explain." I tell him.

"Well, Kim and Sons' was at the edge of bankruptcy. Your parents needed help. My parents offered. Long story short, they are your parents Jinnie. Way too self reliant. They needed the money but they weren't ready to take it without offering anything. So I suggested Kim Enterprises merge with Kim and Sons'-"

"What about the shares?" I cut in again.

"Which shares? What are you talking about?" he asks confused.

"Wasn't it your brilliant idea to buy 20% stakes from Kim & Sons'?"

"We've bought 20% of your company? What? When? How come I don't know about this?"

"You you- don't know? But Ahjussi said-hang on. It wasn't your idea? Then whose idea was merging the companies?"

"Mine. But that's the only thing I suggested. You know how news about bankruptcy tends to leak out, right? Now when that happens the media would scrutinize you and call you a gold digger. You know how they've always tried to dig up some dirt on us right? Knowing you, you'd feel real bad and I didn't want that. So if our companies merge it'll be like a smart business decision to tie up and not help given from one company to another. That's why I came up with the idea. But that's all. I swear I had no clue about buying the shares. I'll call my parents and ask them to sell it back to Kim & Sons' right away-"

"NO!" I all but scream. When he raises a brow I scratch my neck sheepishly. "I mean don't bother. Let it be. I don't mind. I'd just prefer if it had been discussed with me first. Thanks for being so considerate about my feelings, regarding the media. But I still don't get why you treated me the way you did." I say.

I watch as he flexes his muscles and sits on the couch next to me. He stays still for a few seconds before he sighs and licks his lips to answer. Watching every little movement turns me on like the little slut I am. He runs his fingers through his gorgeous hair. He just threw up but yet looks mighty fine.

Throat clearing snaps me out of my Dreamland. Namjoon raises a questioning brow instead of smirking which basically tells me how distracted and disturbed he himself is.

I shake my head at him giving him a small encouraging smile to go on.

"Th-they told me to break up with you. Our parents, moreover your parents. If we'd be close months before the news came out it'd create rumors. But if we kept our interactions on cam to a minimum then there'd be minimal damage. That's what they thought. They said we would be able to keep it to a minimum if we kept our off cam interactions to a minimum. When I told them I could tell you how to behave, they said it wouldn't be a good idea because if you got to know the reason you'd not let the company get outside help, moreover my help." He says fidgeting with his fingers.

"What?! Are you crazy Joon? How could you believe that? I would obviously take your help. We have to save the company. That doesn't mean I'll like it but I'd make sure
I'll-"

"You'd what? Pay me back? See? This is why we didn't want to get you involved! You with your self reliant morals and principles-"

"So what you want me to be a gold digger?"

"No! I just want you to be out of harm's way. I want you to be out of this controversy. If there is a controversy I don't want you in it!" he throws back. Aw my heart is melting.

"Well I don't care about any fucking controversy as long as I'm with you!" I retort.

Our chests heaving with all the yelling.

His look softens. "But your grandfather cares about it." he says.

"M-my grandpa? Goodness what are you talking about?"

"There's another thing that could be the outcome of a controversy. One which you'll not like at all. It's one of the main reasons we didn't tell you."

Now what? What more than my parents keeping things from me?

My last year finals are on it's way. Like Feb 21st.

I haven't started my portion.

Hold on to this. I may update again or directly in March.

I can use your support.

Sarang,

Thiea.