chapter 17-sleepover

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So much has happened these past few days. Zouis smoking. Louis' dad all of a sudden appearing and sayIng shIt. they have a 'serious' interview tomorrow. It's too much! But anyways enjoy

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Since they all had that talk about niall and Liam crushing on each other no one has really brought it up. After zayn left I had called niall and I wanted to say yes when he asked me out but I couldn't. I couldn't play with his emotions like that. I mean I liked him but I can't find it in myself to move on from zayn. Even though he's moved on I can't. And I hate myself for that.

Even now as I was sitting here while niall started at me with fondness I felt terrible. I probably hurt him and I'm sitting here thinking about zayn and only zayn. While he's sitting there thinking about perrie and only perrie. And Louis and harry were too busy in their own world to notice. I was hurting niall and zayn was hurting me. i feel like a dickhead.

Not only that but last night my dad did it again. I felt nervous today for some reason. It's starting to get to me again and I'm trying too hard not to make it noticeable. I haven't slept in what feels like months and I can tell it's noticeable. He didn't hit me this time though the emotional damage was still enough to put me on edge.

"I'll be right back" I mumbled getting out of my seat. I exited the cafeteria and made my way to the boys bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror I wasn't surprised when I saw the bruises under my eyes from lack of sleep. I sigh splashing some water in my face before gripping the sink tightly. Knuckles turning white.

Why couldn't I just be normal? Why can't I just have a normal social life and a normal family? So many questions where going through my head I didn't even notice when zayn had entered the bathroom. I sighed clearly seeing the concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine" I rolled my eyes. So now he's interested in me. I dried my face off with a paper towel making my way to the door. Obviously zayn wasn't having it because he grabbed my hand I couldn't help but tense up. He pulled his hand away immediately. That was probably the first time I reacted like that to zayn in a while. Before it was ok but he hasn't actually touched me in a while and I've been too into my thoughts. I can feel the fear slowly creeping back.

"Liam is something wrong" he comes closer careful not to touch me this time. I just shake my head no.

"Come on liam talk to me" I can tell his starting to get a little frustrated but I don't know why. All I did was shake my head what does he want me to do? He rolled his eyes before speaking again "I'm trying to help and you're not letting me."

"um no there's nothing wrong and you're getting irritated because of that?" i tell him keeping all traces of emotion out of my face. That probably sounded rude but I mean why was he being so pissy?

"Seriously liam" he snapped. I flinched because he's never gotten this upset just because of something so stupid. I furrowed my brows at him and glared slightly before leaving the bathroom.

I made my way back to our table and sat down sighing loudly. i don't understand him sometimes. I mean he's never acted that way before. Is this it? Is he finally planning on ditching me for someone else- perrie. The thought of he made me scowl.

"Uh you ok liam?" Louis asked from where he was sitting next to niall. I gave him a bored look before shrugging.

"Well ok" he said turning back to harry. I don't mean to be so rude today I guess the lack of sleep is finally getting to me. I groan dropping my head on the table.

"Seriously what's wrong" niall asks concern evident in his voice. I groan even more. I just wanted to scream because littler there were so many things wrong that I couldn't even put into words.

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