Oblivion

Chapter 23- its nice

"Payno my man I didn't know you could drink like that" louis said as I neared our spot on the field. I groaned remembering how I woke up to the worst hangover ever. Probably because it was my first time drinking and I didn't make the wisest choices.

"No please don't remind me" I groan once again closing my eyes and tubing my temples. I can still feel the headache from when I woke up on Saturday hungover.

"Sorry mate" he chuckled.

I honestly don't even remember what happened. I remember watching zayn and Perrie dance. I remember drinking something and it was disgusting and I remember... At some point a girl was dancing with me. Curly hair and tan. That's all though. I think I mean it's all fuzzy I'm not sure.

Niall has apologized for leaving me though. Not that it would've mattered though. I'm pretty sure I would've gotten drunk anyways. I can tell he feels guilty so I made sure to reassure him it was fine. Not that he believes me but I'm doing my best to make him feel less bad.

And zayn. Well Im not sure but he's been texting me a lot and now that I notice he's sitting pretty close to me. It's a bit weird but I'm trying not to think to much on it. It's probably nothing it's just sitting I'm overreacting.

"Do you even remember Friday night?" harry asked from where he was sitting behind louis, arms and legs wrapped around him, engulfing him.

"Umm... Parts but not much" I reply scratching the back of my head trying to remember.

"Like what?" zayn asked subtly scooting closer so that our thighs are touching.

"Umm .. I remember drinking something and then .. I remember dancing I think or no a girl was dancing with me? She had curly hair really good" I try remembering more but it's all fuzzy and giving me a headache.

"Curly hair? Was she tall and like tan" niall asks.

"Yeah.. I think yeah" I reply nodding a little.

"Oh my god it was Danielle" niall says shocked. Louis shares an equally shocked facial expression.

"Who?" I question stupidly. They look at me as if I just asked the stupidest question ever- which I probably did but you can't blame me.

"Danielle is like one of the popular kids man and she's fit too on top of that she's a dancer how the hell did you manage to get her to dance with you?" Louis asks incredulously.

I try to ignore the fact that he basically insulted me and answer.

"Oh well umm I don't know" I blush now that all eyes are on me. It's not like that stuff matters I mean I'm gay and I'm sure she's a great girl but I'm gay and in love with zayn. Why is everything so hard.

Suddenly louis chants loudly "YEAH! that a boy Liam!" He says proudly patting my back. I try to make myself as invisible as possible because that's not what I want to hear honestly. I just want to forget about Friday.

"Uh whatever lets go to lunch" I say quietly as I hear the bell. Not that I'll eat I just want to get off the topic.

We walk to the cafeteria and I sit at the table while the rest get their lunches. I sigh once I'm sat down. I hope they don't bring it up again.

I feel someone tap my shoulder and then I'm face to face with a girl. Not just any girl but the girl from Friday. I know I'm gay but she's honestly beautiful. That's something anyone can admit too.

"Hey Liam" she blushes as she sits next to me. I just wave dumbly because I mean what else am I supposed to do. She's popular and attractive and talking to me who's not popular or attractive.

"I just wanted to say that your a great dancer Liam it was fun on Friday" she trailed off looking to her right to where I could see her friends squealing- why were they squealing? I ignored it though and focused on Danielle.

" thanks you weren't so bad yourself" I reply smoothly. Wow points for Liam for being smooth as hell.

"So there's this party on Saturday and I was umm ya know wondering if .. Maybe you would like to go .. With me ?" She's asks shyly playing with her hair. She's looking down at her lap and blushing. Wow I honestly thought she would be one of those bitchy popular girls. I thought wrong. I guess that saying was right- never judge a book by it's cover.. Unless it's a textbook then I guess that's acceptable.

"Sure I'd love too" she looks up and I smile as best I can at her. At this point the guys are making their way to the table and they sit cautiously once they see its Danielle I'm talking to.

"thanks liam here" she hands me a pen which I'm assuming means she wants my number. If not then I'm embarrassed but then she puts her hand towards me and I write my number on it. She gets up and I can vaguely hear the girl behind me screeching practically. Cringe

"That a boy payno" louis high fives me but I just shake my head at him rolling my eyes.

"You gave her your number?" Zayn asks shocked he also looks slightly hurt but that cant be right, he's got Perrie, right? I shrug it off and nod.

"Yeah .. Is-is that bad was I not supposed to?" I question nervously. They all just laugh except zayn.

"No that's great but I thought you ya know" louis makes a weird hand gesture which makes me confused.

"What" I question stupidly still not getting all the weird hand gestures he's making until he gets frustrated.

"I mean gay liam I thought you were gay" he says frustratingly and harry just chuckled patting his back.

"I am" I say still not quite understanding what that has to do with anything.

"So you gave her your number and your gay" he says as if it's simple but it's not. I just shrug. It's not a bad thing that I gave a girl my number, it's not like I asked her to marry me.

"For fucks sake Liam she thinks you like her but you don't obviously because your gay but she doesn't bloody know that" he says angrier now and I shrink back slightly afraid.

"I-I'm sorry l-louis I didn't m-mean to I-i'll take it back I p-promise" I tremble slightly trying to keep the tears at bay. I know louis would never do anything to hurt me but ... Just he got so angry and he hits and screams and I'm worthless and then he takes .. Takes his clothes and...

"Liam calm down Liam it's ok just calm down your fine" it's zayn but I'm not listening because all I feel are his disgusting hands roaming over my body and I'm breathing in gasps but it's not enough. It's not enough because I still feel it I feel it all, everything I feel .. I feel it oh god I don't want this. This isn't right where's mom? where's J? why isn't anyone helping?!

And then I don't feel it anymore. It's dark and cold. I don't feel anything anymore ... It's nice. Not feeling anything. Am I sleeping? No I can't be because I'm not tired well at least I don't think. Am i dead? no i cant be.. at least i don't think. it doesn't matter thought because I'm enjoying this peace. This is nice .. Not feeling anything just being in the dark.

It's nice