The Assassin's Tree

( 6 )

"I'm surprised by you, Leon, truthfully." Dean had suddenly spoken up, though for the last half hour, we had rode in silence.

"Why's that?" I glanced over at him, fidgeting in the uncomfortable seat. His expression gave away nothing that was going on in his mind. "From all the stories I've heard, and what I've been told, I expected you to fight this, a lot harder than you have. But you've been nothing but tame. You haven't fought any of this, and I'm sure you easily could. Why?" There was a tinge of curiosity in his voice.

I looked over at him, and he caught my gaze briefly. For that split second, there was a look in his eyes that I couldn't define.

"I..." I had to think about his question. I myself wasn't entirely sure. "I don't have anything left to fight for, really. At this point, I'm just along for the ride. I don't know." After I lost Ryan, everything just felt pointless. All I had left was my father. Everyone else had abandoned me, truly. I didn't have friends. I barely had a family. What was left?

"That's ridiculous." Dean chuckled a bit. "You have to have something worth fighting for. Everybody does. So what is it?" I just sighed, resting my chin against my hand.

"Dean, really. You could kill me now and it wouldn't matter. I'd almost encourage you to end my suffering at this point. The sun would still rise in the morning." I paused, clenching my hands into fists to try and stop them from shaking. They shook regardless. "And, isn't that how it's going to end anyways? I'm going to die. Maybe not by your hand, but I will. That's how these things end. The 'bad guy' dies, he always does."

Dean didn't respond for a long time. He kept his eyes on the road, but I noticed his hands gripped the wheel a little bit tighter. "Is that what you really think?" His voice was quiet, and there was a damp tone to it that I couldn't quite place.

"Well.. yeah. You can't deny it either, Dean. Whoever your 'boss' is, if he's as bad as you imply, he's going to kill me, isn't he, Dean? Because I think you know I'm not going to give him what he wants. There's only one way this story can end, and it's with me dead." I dug my nails into my leg, which got my hands to stop shaking for the moment. I knew I was right. I didn't need Dean to confirm what I already knew.

"You don't know that." He objected still. I just laughed.

"I do, Dean. And I'm not going to fight it. Because, again, there's nothing to fight for, and nothing to live for, for that matter." I released the right grip I had on my knees, pushing a hand through my hair. It was probably a mess. I didn't care.

"I think that's bullshit." The atmosphere was tense. He seemed annoyed, or mad. I couldn't tell. "There's gotta be someone, or something, holding you here. If you really felt that way, truly, you wouldn't.. you wouldn't be here."

"Whatever you say." I scoffed, leaning my head back against the headrest and closing my eyes. "Why do you care, anyways? Wait, don't tell me." I chuckled slightly. "Do you think I'm going to have some amazing redemption arc? Because.. that's not happening." I felt the car stop, which set off alarm bells. Then I heard Dean unbuckle.

"Leon." I felt his hand grip my chin, and I opened my eyes. He tilted my head so I had to look at him. He was a lot closer than I would've liked. "There are people who care about you. I don't know you, I don't particularly like you, but I know that there are people who care. And honestly, I care too. Because at the end of the day you're a person, just like I am. Even if you do things I don't agree with. And you know I'm right. If you really didn't have a single thing to live for, you wouldn't be here." His eyes seemed to be searching for something in mine. I wasn't sure what he was looking for. But it made me want to pry my eyes away from his. I didn't need him staring into my soul.

"Say what you will." I just shrugged, gently pushing his hand off of my chin. I didn't have much else to say, anything I could say would just come off as nonsensical gibberish.

"I'm sorry, Leon." It sounded genuine, he looked at me like I was a dog he picked up off the streets. Pity.

Huh?

"You're... what?"

"Don't make me say it again. It was hard enough the first time."

"Well, maybe the tin man has a heart after all." I teased him, smiling a little now.

"Shut up." Dean settled back down into his seat, buckling himself back in. He didn't sound angry, or annoyed, for that matter. "I'm... going to forget that this conversation happened. I think it's in your best interest to forget about it as well." He was quiet now.

I didn't respond, turning my head and looking out the window as I mused over that conversation.

What just happened?

He apologized for being a douchebag.

Shut up, I know that.

And now I'm talking back to the voices in my head.

Wow.

I shook my head, glancing over at Dean. He was hyper-focused on the road. What were his true intentions? Who was his boss? What was going to happen to me? Where were we going?

I didn't think I was going to like the answer to any of those questions.