yoongi and jimin have comforted me since the "big reveal".
the only word i can describe my current feelings with is numb.
words have been flying at me and i can't decipher a single one.
i don't remember the last time i ate or the last time i sipped fresh water. i haven't left my room at all and the only thing i get into my system is smoothies namjoon leaves at my door.
jimin makes sure i drink every last drop.
through all the rush of "getting hoseokie through grief" i guess i haven't noticed the mood that has settled on the house.
the old house, the one seokjin paid off with overworked nights at the cafe, the one where seven rowdy boys have lived for five years.
well seven for two and six for five i guess you could say.
it has a mood of absolute depression.
i often miss the loud laugh of seokjin. the one that'd make my eyes crinkle and my laugh even louder.
i hate to admit that i miss his awful jokes. the ones that were so bad you'd laugh and maybe even worse you'd just laugh because seokjin was laughing.
most importantly i miss his hugs. his hugs aren't– weren't like jimin's bone-crushing ones or yoongi's lazy ones.
seokjin's hugs held you as if in telling you you're going to be alright and without them i feel my self slowly derailing.
please don't tell jimin but i've found myself flushing most of my smoothie down the toilet.
i can't do it.
i can't glug down the thick liquid that tastes like strawberries and frogs because again, only namjoon can make a smoothie such as that.
my eyes fall down to the pink chunky substance and my nose crinkles in disgust.
for a second i try think back to my last real memory of kim seokjin.
a picture of a field glimpses in my eyes before i see the pink substance run down the sink.
"hoseokie, what are you doing in there?" yoongi's voice is soft and worried.
i exit with the slightest of smiles on my face.
"thinking about how good you'd look underneath me right now."
( kekekeke aren't my endings wicked
thoughts?
any ideas on how seokjin may have died?
any ideas on why hoseok's suddenly confident?
do you think the yoonmin conflict will resolve?
love you!! see you next week xx ))
