i felt so bad.
i really wanted to turn back and run into min yoongi and give him a thousand apologies but i can't.
my mind feels sore, overworked and crowded like new york city.
new york city was a place i told seokjin i wanted to go to. it had those bright lights ajd big stars and opportunity. god how i love opportunity.
it gives you chance, hope, experience. opportunity is everything. when i turned the corner i saw the familiar field. it wasn't as bright as i remember.
in fact, the grass is not as short. the flowers are sparse and colourless. the love had left my field. our field.
then i saw her. she looked the same. her back was facing me, the pink brought life to the dullness of the world around us.
"jiyun? i'm back jiyun and i missed you lots. we have so much to talk about."
she disappeared.
"fuck."
"hoseokie! hoseokie! seokie!" min yoongi's voice shrills.
i start running, picking up my pace to find the girl that was there. she was there. i ran further away from them tears gathering in my eyes, i can't lose her again.
"hoseok?! where are you going?"
kim taehyung, his soft demeanour gleamed under the darkness of the clouds.
"seokie. please stop," yoongi's voice was so soft, so broken. it hurt me.
the thing is as he approached me i couldn't help but push him away.
"leave me alone," i murmur, i don't want to see them. both of them.
"seok, please," yoongi was so persistent and i was so stubborn. i didn't want to lose her.
"i said leave me alone yoongi," my voice was stern. not hollering, not unstable. straight and loud.
he looked down, his eyes filled with these emotions and feelings, i didn't understand.
"i love you jung hoseok, i've loved you since we first smiled at each other."
"that was a long time ago. before you dated jimin even," yoongi looks at me with fondness and hurt. i still ignore him.
"hoseok, please come home."
"why'd you date jimin?"
"because he was brave and asked me out and you never did."
"i was going to."
"no you weren't."
it was silent, taehyung looked at me; his gaze so strong it was as if he was holding my head up straight.
"hoseok, you're brave, you just weren't ready. yoongi still loves you, you love jimin, he loves jimin. do you still love yoongi?" taehyung's lips turned upwards, i was reminded instantly of seokjin and something just cracked.
"of course, yoongi i- i love you so much, i love you more than the moon and the stars. you shine so bright, yoongs. you have no idea how long i've loved you."
i wish i caught the next moment in a picture. min yoongi running up to me and hugging me, hugging me so hard. tears rolled down my cheeks as i saw the girl, as i saw jiyun run away and disappear from me.
"i miss him so much," i cried out.
they say the love of your life comes around once every lifetime.
kim taehyung held yoongi and i both until we reached a car i was familiar with.
yoongi told me about jimin and we cried and i'm not sure if those tears were joy or sadness.
i think i found a loophole with the two loves of my life.
( uh if you're wondering the girl is from chapter one (1) and there's like two chapters left i think? uwu )
