jimin stares at the scattered papers surrounding namjoon's room. diary entries and business notes and anything you could ever imagine were among these piles.
"hoseok's sick, read this." namjoon throws an old leather diary at jimin, the leather was wearing out to a thin layer of material.
he flicks to the first bookmarked paper.
12/05/2014
hoseok is improving. he enjoys the pastries and sandwiches with the medicine in and i'm afraid if i tell anyone he's even got medicine in his system, he'd freak out.
16/05/2014
hoseok wants to confess love to two peop–
"that's enough jimin, let's not dive into hoseok's life without him here," namjoon says sternly, grabbing that old leather book away from the younger.
"where do you think he is?" jimin changes the subject as guilt shakes his ribs and regret holds his legs.
"i've tried to think, maybe his hometown but he never even liked it there." namjoon shrugs, eyes scanning over papers.
"you don't know that," jimin's voice raises in pitch. namjoon doesn't respond.
"also, we know he's sick but with what?"
"i-i don't know. cancer maybe, listeriosis for god's sake tonsillitis could even be an option. all i know is seokjin left medicine for him and there's a lot."
"hoseok even went to his funeral. how did he think seokjin was alive this whole time?" jimin trails from namjoon in that sense of his mind being lost and confused and although namjoon is desperate to help clear it; he can't.
"i think he developed PTSD, it makes you forget and do crazy thing sometimes. jinnie left me these papers and i really tried helping him you know? but i couldn't cuz i'm useless."
"you're not useless joonie. you've helped all of us. remember when jeongguk asked you to walk him up to the graduation stage. remember what he said:–"
"you're like my mom but not homophobic and you got a massive junk," namjoon says smiling, that god damned smile where his dimples appear and happiness floods the atmosphere and it just feels so good.
jimin finally finds the courage to move and when he does the first thing he does is go to namjoon, he smiles.
smile smile smile.
jimin finds himself battling to hold back.
battling to not do anything outrageously stupid but then he remembers he's twenty-one and this is the time to be stupid.
so when instincts finally kick in, when his stupid hoseok-influenced dominance makes an appearance.
jimin kisses namjoon and oh, how he doesn't regret it one bit.
soft lips against soft lips is something so new to him, the sweetness and bitterness mix so well it tastes like poorly made alcohol.
high high high.
that's where he is, mind scattered and namjoon could say exactly the same.
but maybe if they weren't occupied with being stupid, they would've noticed kim taehyung amd min yoongi shouting about knowing where their lost one was.
maybe they would've seen the two climbing up those stairs with huge smiles.
maybe they would've seen both smiles drop and maybe, just maybe, they would've seen them both leave together in kim namjoon's car with sadness stricken into their minds and hearts.
but they didn't and they probably will never.
( hey hets i'm back with that mild angst 😍😍😡😡😥😥😳😳😱😱👌🏻 )
