Love Me, Hate Me, I Don't Care (Bully!America x Bullied!Reader)

Freezing over

Days turned to weeks and those weeks piled up until an entire month had past. With each passing day Alfred seemed to become more and more affectionate, only making it harder for me to endure it all. It got to the point that my heart would ache each time he touched me... at first anyway.

Eventually, I started to become resistant to that affection. It became drilled into my mind that all of this was merely an act and that Alfred didn't really like me, I'm starting to daubt that he likes me at all even as a friend. Everything he does, I didn't see at first, ever since we first kissed is so plastic. From the outside it looks real, it even fooled me for the first few days, but Alfred is becoming distant... and in all honesty, so am I.

Even now I am drowning out all of his chatting, all of the topics that he picks at random don't even make it through my mind, it is just white noise in the background as I stare off out of the window. He forced me into hanging out with his friends, I was reluctant, I opposed it even, but somehow he convinced me to it anyway. He wasn't even paying attention to me, he was too busy telling stories and amusing the popular crowd that surrounded him.

One more month... On more month and you'll break up and everything will go back to normal.

"Hey what is (Y/N) doing, spacing out like that?" I hear (RB/N) scoff. She briefly catches my attention yet I roll my eyes away from her and continue looking the opposite direction.

"Hey (Y/N)" Another one of Alfreds friends waves his hand in front of my face and I coldly give him some attention. "Don't you know that your boyfriend is speaking? You're being really rude you know."

"It's ok I don't mind, (P/N) (Pet name) was never that sociable." Alfred brushes it off while swatting the guys hand away from my face. "Right (P/N)? You're just being shy." He beamed. I hate that pet name, I hate it with the entirety of my being. It only highlights how fake this all is, like rubbing salt into a wound. I nod, not lifting my lips from the straight line that I've been keeping for the past few days now.

"I still think that she's being a bit of a bitch." (RB/N) chimes in, her voice way too sweet for the content and motives behind her words.

"Yeah same here, jeez I'm not surprised you were bullied before Alfred started dating you."

"Honestly, how can you even put up with her Al?"

"Doesn't it get boring?"

"Do you even know how to properly date someone (Y/N)?"

"You really are as bad as I first took you for"

"ENOUGH!"

*SLAM*

Just as soon as Alfred snapped at the group I slammed both of my hands onto the desk, getting up in the process and knocking the chair over. Alfred looks pissed, the only real emotion I get to see from him nowadays, I only see that spark of the Alfred that I trusted whenever he's angry or irritated. However, he changes expression to surprised while he looks at my firmly standing figure. "I'm gonna go" I spit coldly.

I take my things and leave, yet just like I expected Alfred excused himself and followed after me down the hallways. I don't slow my fast strides. I look up at him with bored eyes when he takes my shoulder and spins me round to face him.

"Are you alright (Y/N)? Come on you know what they're like, don't let them get to you." He grins at me. This is the Alfred I like, the one I enjoy the company of. The Alfred who grins at me and doesn't call me (P/N), the real Alfred. Its a shame he's only like this when we are alone.

Yet even when alone, I am slowly finding myself freezing over again.

"Its not that" I say curtly and turn away from him.

"Hey don't be like that" He jumps right back into my line of vision. "Something is up, so just spit it out"

I furrow my brows in annoyance. Not at him, but myself.

You know what's wrong Alfred F. Jones? I've realised something horrible. I'm starting to like you more then a friend. I hate it when you pretend to like me back. I rather get bullied by you again.

I want to say that, I want to say that so badly but... I've become resistant to his affection, to his genuine concern. "Nothing is wrong really... I just got tired of listening to them, just in general."

"Is that so?" He's so gullible sometimes, like a child. "Okay then. So how about we just ditch? Whattya say dudette?"

"Isn't that what we've done already" I relax again, just slightly.

He chuckles obnoxiously. "I guess it is" He takes my hand in his. "Lets go behind the school or something.

I almost glare at our locked hands. "No one is around you know" I point out, yet I don't yank my hand away. Somehow this feels different then when he does it before everyone, in fact, the way he took hold of it was as if he did it subconsciously, as if it was natural... This kind of thing... I don't hate it.

He tilts his head for a few seconds before he realises what I'm talking about. He looks down at our hands, he looks surprised himself yet he doesn't let go. "Yeah that's just in case...you know.." He looks away from me and justifies himself in a flustered manner. "Can never be too safe."

I giggle a little. This is better. I wish I would've felt that same warm sensation in my chest that I used too. As I said, I'm freezing over, I'm becoming more resistant to his affection... It didn't bother me at first but now that he's being genuine, he's being himself, it disturbs me that I don't feel anything special when with the one I like.

"Whatever, lets just go." I roll my eyes, still amused at his flustered reaction to his own actions.

We spend the rest of lunch goofing off behind the school. This is exactly how it's supposed to be for me. I can't wait for the day we break up, then we can go back to this. I couldn't care less that his friends will hate me for it, even if I start getting more trouble from girls of this school. I don't care.

I wont deny it any longer. I like Alfred. I hate when he shows me fake affection.

I just hope that I will get over it or by some miracle he'll return my feelings. Not that I ever plan on telling him them, in the end he is still my ex-bully after all. Its stupid that I fell for my ex-bully, like some strange type of Stockholm syndrome, but I can endure it. I'll get over him, I know I will.

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Uhhhh I regret not listening to my friend and not finishing this earlier. I'm too tired for an authors note. Note to self: Procrastination + Writers block + Night time writing = not a good time.

Hope you guys are having a better night then me.

Baiiii~~~~~