Joseb One Shots

Stay alive

How do you cope with something stressful, sad, when you're freaking out?

Maybe you breath in and breath out, maybe you have a stress ball, maybe you wait till your alone and scream until you can't anymore.

But what he did, courtesy of Joseph, he counted to ten, then counted backwards, in French.

Un, deux.

How do explain the feeling you get when someone you love is gone?

Trois, quatre.

Is there something you can do to make it bearable? I'm sure there's something you can do, maybe you can move on, maybe you can just forget about it, maybe you can drown yourself in your work, maybe you can cut all ties to them, get rid of their pictures, their number, start a job that won't remind you of them, move.

Cinq, six.

Or, you could resort to drinking your problems away.

Sept, huit.

Sebastain found himself sitting at yet another bar, with yet another drink in his hand, spending yet another long sleepless night on his own.

But to his surprise, he wasn't drunk.

Before joseph had died he had made the man a promise.

When Myra had died Joseph helped him through those tough times, yes, he had started to drink, but Joseph wasn't here to help him get through this.

He could only imagine the sweet smile Joseph would of give him as he gently rested his hand on his shoulder as he helped the man through this.

He promised he wouldn't go around drinking and getting drunk.

And to be fair, he hadn't completely broken that promise.

Neuf, dix.

He looked up and saw his reflection in the mirror behind the bar, why the mirror was even there, he had no idea, but one thing he did know was that he looked like shit.

To be honest, he never thought he was very attractive but maybe having someone who loves you for being you helps, but that disappeared with Joseph.

At the moment, he looked homeless, well slightly, but he certainly did not look very presentable.

His hair was very messy and strands of his hair were going every which way, he smiled sadly remembering how Joseph would call it "sex hair" as he ruffled it with a laugh every morning and made them both coffee.
(And here I am making something sound sad and silly at the same time)

Not only that, he had let his beard grow out a little, he'd always keep it to just a little stubble, but now that Joseph was gone, there was no one to impress.

Sebastian had stopped caring about his looks a long time ago but that didn't mean that he didn't at least a little bit of effort into it.

Deep breath, Dix, neuf.

Standing up with a grunt he pulled out a few bills and slid them over to the bartender and said a groggy "goodbye" before slowly walking outside and over to his bike.

Everything he did seemed to be to get away from thinking about Joseph, this included the purchase of his bike, he'd always wanted a motorcycle but he never had a chance to use it when he was constantly working, now that he was taking a break he could use it whenever he wished.

Huit, Sept.

He pulled onto the highway heading goodness knows where, at the moment, he just wanted to let his mind wander.

After a while and a good deal of debating with himself he decided to go somewhere he hadn't been in a good while.

The cemetery.

Six, cinq.

Sebastian had never been good at coping with losses, and he was never good with visits to the cemetery, too many memories, but today was different.

He pulled off the highway and headed towards the cemetery, once he arrives, he carefully parked his bike and left his helmet and jacket with the bike before walking through row upon row until he found the grave.

Quatre, trois.

"I didn't forget anything this time." He said quietly, speaking a full sentence for first time this night.

"I know that flowers aren't exactly your thing, but I thought I'd bring some anyway."

He got no answer.

"I'm so sorry for not visiting."

Gently he placed the roses in front of the grave, he pulled a single one from the bouquet and gently placed it on top of the headstone.

"I... Um also....I brought the ring, I know I kept forgetting it, but I brought it this time." He said his voice cracking.

"I'm sorry I couldn't..." He let out an involuntary sob and sat down against the back of the grave finally but silently letting his tears fall, he leaned his head back and sighed, looking to at the dark sky letting a final tear fall.

"Happy birthday babe."

Deux.

Un.

And repeat.

~~~~~~~~~~

Story word count: 801 god damnit.

WOOOOOOO I'M SORRY
I haven't written some angst in ages so have this.

I'm in the car and using data for this shit you better enjoy my struggle

But um, enjoy your daily dose of angst.

Peace
~G