Abused to love

6

"Arthur be gentle with him" my father put him onto the floor "of course I will" I smiled happily at the small boy "Come here Ollie" I called softly holding my hands out to my little brother.  He had strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes just like my father. He stumbled "gah" walking over to me.  "You did it,  you did it" I smiled down at him as he hugged onto me.

~

"Arthur.. Arthur" Alfred called opening my eyes blinking a few times to clear my vision. Looking up at him "Alfred..." I looked up at him for a second I saw my father hovering over me.  Moving away from him blinking a few times "Are you ok?" He reached his hand over to wipe my tears. Flinching I held a hand over my bruised eye. "Artie... " He looked saddened by this "I'm not going to hurt you,  I would never. " Removing my hand from where it was. Alfred took it in his kissing the back of my hand his cheeks dusted pink slightly as he looked at me. "I like you to much to ever do that" He gave a small nervous smile.
Was he confessing. This was a confession right, maybe I was mistaken?  It couldn't be, right? "I've been trying to tell you but it was never a good time. Not even now. But I had to get it off my chest. You'd probably never want to be with someone like me though.. " He looked away. I stared at him blankly.  "I.. " I looked at him. I couldn't bare to break his heart even if I was still dreaming. "I like you too. " I lied giving a small smile. Looking up at me he smiled widely "R-Really!? " I nodded softly.

~

There was a time I really did try to have feelings for someone. But it seemed impossible. "Arthur do you want to go out for ice cream or something like that" He looked down at me "Sorry I have to make dinner today" his smile fell after I said that "Ah.. Alright"  This was the only way I could avoid going home. "We could go for ice cream if you'd like. " I said looking up at him. "I don't want to. Also I don't want to date you anymore. " He stopped in his tracks and I stopped besides him. "That's fine.. " He looked at me silently before backing up and leaving. Looking down  at the ground I sighed walking home alone.
When I dated girls I had to break up with them,  I could tell I wasn't making them happy. I was never there anyways. Yet how could I do this to Alfred? I felt something with him but I'm not sure in what way. Lie to him because I'm not sure if I'm even capable of feelings. Could I ever kiss him without being afraid? Can I be with him?  Could I tell him anything? 

~

"Well we got it on the school cameras,  how did no one notice this before? " The school policemen looked at the video. Two boys held me by my arms taking me towards the boys locker room Francis pulling me into the the janitor closet that just happened to have a camera in it too. It was clear from the video  that their was no consent. I closed my eyes when the paused the video before anything else happened.

"Did you hear Francis was arrested" "I heard it was because his boyfriend Arthur" "Didn't he accuse him of rape? " "That's what they say" "He also hit him during P.E." The rumors were everywhere. Most were true but I was never his boyfriend. I walked down the halls with a blank expression. Days pasted and they only seemed to get worse as I opened my locker and notes fell out 'kill your self' 'disgusting ' 'slut'  'man whore' it was endless. My father sent me a letter the next week.

~

Looking at he ground with all the notes I kept the letter there I couldnt open it nor read it. Pushed into the locker pinned I heard a deep voice " Is this how your father did it? " Rubbing against me from behind. The boy chuckled a group of his friends laughing. "Blaming someone else for your pitiful fathers actions how disgusting. " Complete pushed into the locker.  I noticed Alfred out of the corner of my eye. Looking at me with sadness but also anger. Alfred looked at the boy that was now walking down he hall happily as if nothing had happened. Would it always be like this? I thought he liked me, if so where was my hero?