Among Others

Fopdoodle // 24

My drawing ^^^ Tried to match the style of the show so it would look like a scene taken from it but still briefly added my style into it.

✨Lance's POV✨

O O O

"Maybe your past wasn't the best, but don't build those walls around you when you're with us!" I shout and there is an earthquake inside my body and a strong wind blowing all the leaves away that are representing my feelings and I can't understand a thing. "It's ridiculous, really. The team have been trying to be your friend and being nice to you for so long and you can't even give something in return, like at least stop behaving like a douche! "

I slap my hands over my mouth and make a shrieking sound at the very far back of my throat. Oh shit oh shit oh shit, what the hell did I just say?! It's like my words just decided to play reckless and jumped out of my mouth like my tongue was some diving board and Keith's mind was the water they were diving into.

I look over at him and clutch at my hair instead and he's looking at me with slightly parted lips and his eyebrows quivering and his lower lip shaking like he's a child and some other kid took his toy and he's about to bawl his eyes out, but the fact that he isn't and just stands there, looking at me, makes it so much more painful.

I bite my lip and consider to bang my head against the wall until I pass out and miss this whole moment, but then Keith looks down and his mouth is constantly opening like he wants to say something but just can't. He grips his t-shirt and twirl his fingers around the fabric and mumble something under his breath but I can't make out a singel word.

"Keith...Oh God, I'm so sorry...I shouldn't have..."

"Said that?" He finishes off for me and he looks up at me with a new fire in his eyes but I see the sadness always trying to kill the flame. "But guess what, you just said it, and I know you mean it."

I can feel everything around me getting cold and I shudder.

"And you know how I can comfort myself?" He continues and take a step towards me and poke my chest. Hard. "You're a fopdoodle. You really get on my nerves, but really you shouldn't have the power to do so." He pokes my chest harder and I instantly take a step back. "You don't understand my past - I don't think you could understand if I told you - and that's why you just said those things about me."

He takes a deep breath before continuing. "Everyone has a reason behind the way they're acting. Calling me a douche and everything, but did the thought ever struck you that there is a reason as to why I'm acting that way?"

You have no idea, I want to say. I think about it often, I want to tell him.

But the only thing I can do is just stare at him like he just shot me in the chest.
Like I accidentally did to him in the daydream.
I wonder if I look nearly as pale as he was, with my eyes closing for the last time and my lips parted and just dead.

"You know, sometimes I envy you, Lance", Keith says in a slightly higher voice and he squints at me, then shaking his head disappointed. "But at the same time as I envy you, I really really hate you." He takes a shaky breath and bite his lip hard enough for him to flinch and run his fingers over the blood he must have drew out. "I won't say your life is perfect, because nothing is, but you have a pretty good life, as far as I know." He points at me again and I see how he tries to bring the flame in his eyes back to life again. "And the fact that you take it all for granted... I hate it. I absolutely, completely, totally hate it. I hate everyone that complains about something so good in their life when others don't even have a fifth of it."

He takes another step towards me and a big part of me wants to back away but the other - bigger - part just makes me stand still and look straight into his eyes. His fuming eyes, his burning eyes that are burning my senses.

He pokes my chest another time before letting his hand rest flat on my chest and his eyes is gleaming more than usual.

"A-and I... I absolutely, completely, totally h-hate you..." And that's when everything just breaks, all over again. The atmosphere, my lungs, the tension between us, and Keith is breaking.

Breaking down into tears. The first thing I hear is his loud gasp and his
breath-whimper. The horrible sound of Keith crying. I always wondered how it is like when Keith cries but know I can't bear it. Just one second and I can already feel my chest getting tighter.

"I h-hate you so much..." he chokes out and I don't know who made the move but suddenly our foreheads are pressed together and his tears land on my cheeks and his breath his hot against my mouth. Our lips are just millimeters apart but standing this close is still enough.

"I hate you... I hate life, and most of all I hate the fact that I don't know why I d-deserved all of my past..."

"I may not know you very well, but well enough to know that you definitely didn't deserve it", I whisper and snake my hands up his neck and his hair and I didn't know I would miss his mullet this much. Keith presses his forehead harder against mine and now both of his hands are resting on my chest. "Gosh, Keith. I'm so sorry. For everything. For all the things you should have and definitely for how I have behaved towards you... I'm so, so, sorry..."

He grips my t-shirt and brings us closer together, looking down at our feet and gritting his teeth, trying to suppress his tears but I know he's struggling.

"You can let it out, Keith..." I say and my throat hurts and it must mean I can cry any second now. "You can talk with me. Talking and telling will make you feel better."

Keith breathes sharply, his face is scrunched in agony and tears well out of his eyes and I will remember this moment very well.

The first time I saw Keith cry. The first time I made him cry.

He leans forward and up and close his eyes and he places his impossible soft lips on the point between my eyebrows and let them stay there for a while. I close my eyes as well and bury my hands further into his hair and I can taste Keith everywhere. It's too much of Keith. It's too good for me.

He leans back and he back away from me and turn to the door and I can practically hear my heart scream and shatter on the floor. My chest is empty.

He says: "Maybe some day, but not tonight."

He opens the doors and step outside my room.

O O O

Sad and maybe boring but....

Okay, I have no excuse. 🤷🏻