Among Others

Walk Past The Past // 26

Current mood: 😭

O O O

I never really thought about how it would feel to drown in lava, but now I understand why I never did it.
This is not the pleasant fire inside my body when Lance pressed his lips against mine and entangled his finger in my hair. This is not the fire I felt inside my heart when I let my tears out for a very long time.

This fire is killing me, and it must be included in my whole sickness. This is what the air of Jombonia is doing to me, and I have no way to stop it. At least by myself. I have no idea what the other's is possibly doing to help me through it, but all I know is that my body is slowly burning down and all my nerves are shaking and it's terrifying me that I can't control any of it.

My eyes flies open and I wonder where Lance went. The last time I saw him today he was worried, and his smile was gone, but I never really saw him disappear. Did he get scared of me? Did he escape me and leave me here to burn? Did he think that he couldn't do anything to save me?

"Hurry! He's shaking very violently!" I hear beside me. In my head the words sounds awfully slurred, and pressed together into one big lump of chaos.

It's Shiro, I realize, and it strangely makes me think back to the Garrison. I see us talking after he and his other comrades succeeded the simulator and got very good comments from Iverson. I see my own face, smiling fondly at him and telling him he did a good job, and the picture is just too clear, perfectly painted in my head. I know that the Jomboni's has something to do with it, so I let Shiro's panicked voice in reality drag me out of my trance and burst the toxic bubble around my head.

"What is happening to him?" Shiro again. It sounds like he has gravel stuck in his throat.

"I thing he is suffering from a very bad spasm, making his body shake this violently." Coran. When did he get here? "In other words, several of his muscles parts are twitching, and normally this will end in a short amount of time, but considering the Jomboni's, I am very unsure as to how long this can go on about."

"There's got to be something we can do!" I think Shiro is gripping my arm when my back arches up and then back down on the mattress again. "It's too risky to wait for it to end, he's clearly in pain."

I am? I can't feel anything else but the flame, but now that I think of it, I realize how much it actually hurts.

With the pain present, it drains out any other sound around me and leaves the sound of my heavy breathing behind. My eyes must be closed, because I only see black. My nostrils are burning and I don't know if it must be because I'm breathing so hard or just that my face is heating up.

Some seconds passes by, and every body part is aching.

A switch inside me, and I scream.

O O O

I'm in the Garrison again and the lights in the corridors are shut down. I snuck out past curfew. But it isn't the first time. I know where I'm heading. This is a memory.

And I know just which memory it is.
I'm pressed against the wall, looking out if anyone is nearby. It's midnight, and a chance of getting seen is hopefully very minimal.

I breathe in slowly, gripping the wall and dragging my nails on the hard surface. How the hell did I end up here? I hate this memory. I hate that I need to go through this again. And I hate that I hate it. Because I shouldn't.

I groan outwardly but stay quiet afterwards in case Iverson or someone else would pop their head out from the corner or something.

I push myself off the wall and continue to walk forward, feeling my heart beat profusely and leaving a faint throb inside my whole body. There is no light leading my way and the wall is my only guide.

Also the sound of muffled mumbles from around the corner, a low giggle and a darker voice speaking back.

The throbbing is incessant, and I know deep down I'm fretting over the reaction I will have when I see what's going on around the corner. Will it be just like last time? Maybe I can just turn around?

But something is keeping my legs from doing it.

And there it is. A tall figure pressing another, shorter and curveless, figure against the wall, whispering things that sounds like baloney. And this tall figure being Lance, capturing a randomn girl between him and the surface behind her. He whispers something more before attacking her lips with his, running his fingers through her black hair.

Great. Just what I despited. My heart laying in my chest like tatters. It's exhausting having a crush, especially when you expect too much only to get nothing out of it. Nothing expect peeking from around a corner and watching your crush eat up someone else's face.

I feel something twist in my stomach; I kissed those lips. Those lips were on hers, if not on many more. I wished that memory could be obscure, not as clear in my head. I shouldn't feel the pressure on my lips and all the other strong feeling that we're bubblig inside my chest.

"Keith." I look up and I see Marcles standing just behind Lance, smirking at me. His glowing, yellow dots under his eyes and his forehead throws a faint layer of yellow inside the dark corridor. Lance and the girl is still doing their thing. "You need to let go. Stop thinking so much as you do. Don't prompt your pretty little head with nonsense."

"Then what the hell are you doing in my head?" I snarl.

"Helping you out of this frenzy", he says and I don't quite understand. He smiles at me like he heard my thoughts. "The frenzy outside your head."

"By killing me?" I make the mistake in looking over at Lance again and I immediately look away with disgust. "You are the reason this frenzy started in the first place!"

"Oh, Keith." His chuckle is low and dark, and his purple eyes twinkle at me. "The real reason is you cuddling with Lance and flying away from the castle and flying over our planet. For the second time." He smiles and I raise my eyebrow in obvious question. "We show no remorse or pity. We can catch you if we so desire. You were getting up in our territory and we needed to do something about it."

"What... I don't..."

"Understand? That I do know. And I also know that you can't seem to understand that he'll never be yours." Marcles does a sloppy gesture at said person that is pushing up against the girl so hard I think the wall might regret its whole life. "He's pushing his tongue down her throat and you still seem to hold onto the hope that it will be anything good between you!"

"This is a memory, and happened a long time ago. And why do you care about my love life this much anyway? And what the hell do you mean that I flew over you planet two times?" This is almost degrading. Like it's so obvious that there isn't anything between us expect for pure rivalry but I'm the only one that can't see it.

But why though?

"Stupid humans", he mutters and he steps closer to me, and suddenly the image of Lance kissing another girl disperse, and me and Marcles is alone in the corridor. "Stupid, idiotic humans. You don't understand a thing. You don't understand reality!"

"This..." I swallow. "This isn't r-reality."

"It's the closest you can come to reality now, Keith." He flashes me a devilish smile.

O O O

I'm holding on to the fact that we have a holiday next week.

But there is still so much to dooooooo (༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ)