Kaneki X Reader Oneshots [Lemons, Smut and fluff]

Bitter Attainment- Haise

Warning, angsty I guess, it's super short as well

The roaring patter of rain against the ground was nearly drowned out by the bellowing of Haise's fellow comrades, cheering him on in different ways to finally swing down the sword in his hand and cut down the ghoul the CCG were hunting. All the half ghoul did was stare at the parting of soaked H/C hair before him in horror. The thought taunted him that he knew the girl, but anytime he tried to recall the memory it would vanish in a blink of the eye. He didn't want to kill her, ghoul or not, he felt a strong emotional attachment to her and felt like almost vomiting at the thought of killing her. Y/N L/N, the last remaining ghoul from a pack that was spotted, not only was she the weakest from them all, it seemed that the girl was less resistant to Haise and accepted her fate even before the painfully tight handcuffs had been choking her wrists.

"What are you waiting for, Haise?" Arima queried, " It's simple really, just bring down the sword, and take off her head, she's just another ghoul..." Haise's hands started to shake and his lips quiver at the thought, certainly there was something trying to rip off his arms in an attempt to stop him, and there was. Kaneki Ken, though dormant in Haise's mind, was frantically shouting at him to stop and even went as far as to show himself as a hallucination and push back his arm with a futile attempt. Tears escaped both Haise's and Kanekis eyes, but Y/n sat there sorting through her lovable memories of Kaneki, each and every one, good or bad, was being scrutinised to the utmost detail to try and fill herself with fuzzy love.

Haise clenched his eyes shut and yelled in a desperate tone, "Why does it have to be me! Why me specifically!" Although begging for an honest response Arima had already thought up a lie, "Because you don't have the will to kill a ghoul, Haise, so do your job, in front of all your peers, make an example of the monster..."

A monstrous expression rested on Haise's face and his teeth clamped together in a painful clash as he bared them in anger and frustration, confusion and sadness. With tears still frantically falling he raised the sword and that's when you looked up at him for the last time, "You know, I'm trying to fill myself with happy emotions, but I feel so bitter, and, I'll see you another time, Kaneki..." Before he could stop himself, Haise brought his weapon down and your head detached half way down your neck in a slightly crooked line.

Cheers suddenly grew and every CCG member started to rejoice that another ghoul had been exterminated from their world but Haise felt sick, his hair fell over his eyes and he stared at the body lay down unnaturally elegantly in front of him. His hidden eyes flickered over the small crowd who all seemed fulfilled and anger overcame him.

Memories flooded into Haise's mind of Y/N, his love, now dead because of him. "Good work today, Haise, you've proved your strength," Arima praised and was about to walk away but jolted back when seeing Sasaki raise the sword, "Haise wait!-" with the older Ivory haired males words going over Haise's head, he and other co workers watched in horror as once again the weapon clutched tightly in the half ghouls palms came down. It cut through Y/N's already lifeless body, revealing muscle, tissue and her insides.

When the body had been sliced up enough Haise dropped the sword and reached his hands in the cut open stomach, gently tugging a loose intestine out and looking at his peers with a bloodied face, "See, she was just like us, you just made me kill a person, with hopes and dreams, fears and emotions, she was just a different, more developed species than us, they all are..." Everyone had different yet the same reaction to his statement, shock, sickness, guilt.

Haise gently picked up her severed head and covered it with his overcoat, walking through his peers, wondering why he didn't see the CCG's corruption up until now. It took the death of his lover to make him remember his past life, and also make him feel empty inside. This wan't how he wanted to find out, not the feelings he wanted to discover. Instead of feeling fulfillment he just felt empty, like someone ripped out his heart and stepped on it .

No one stopped Sasaki, as he wandered away with his lovers head, they all seemed fearful in some way or another. No one took him down like when he couldn't control himself, as many didn't particularly know what he was doing. Akira watched on next to Arima with her arms folded, her stance was still as elegant as before but the blondes pupils were dilated and her lips pursed. No orders were given until he was out of sight. Something like this was unnatural to everyone.

He made it to a cliff that was quite high up from the ground. Not knowing how much he had been running or how long he'd been doing it for, Haise started to sob again. A sudden ray of sunlight gleamed over him and Sasaki looked at Y/N's face after unwrapping it to reveal her head. Haise hugged the head close to his chest as a somber smile appeared on his face. He sighed and walked to the edge of the cliff, without needing to think it over once more, Haise jumped off the side of the cliff, knowing that the impact would kill him.

Maybe in another life... 

Because anti climactic endings are anti climatic