[Post Avengers: Age of Ultron - AU]
For the last seven years, Aurora Taylor has only known loyalty to Hydra. She, among others, is part of their latest batch of successful experiments. They all share a mutual hatred for anyone who dares to get in th...
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I got serious flack when news spread that I escaped my hospital room. But I had people on my side, so in the end, I never saw that room ever again.
The other enhanced that sided with Mother, they're slowly coming around. Some are more reluctant, like Kyle and Ruby. They still need a little more time to come to their senses. We don't believe that Mother had any influence on their brains. The younger recruits, it's possible we think she used her powers on them. Tony and Bruce are currently looking into that to get a definite answer.
Since my removal in the infirmary area, I've been on the mend. Any training of any sort is off the table. Rather, I'm sort of a counselor to the younger enhanced. Genevieve acts as a counselor for Kyle and Ruby.
My sleep pattern has been off since the attack in D.C. Nightmares play a big part in that. I don't sleep through the night, and sometimes I refuse to, so I hang out in the kitchen in the ass crack of dawn hours of the day. I can at least be alone with my thoughts before some of the early birds rise.
Currently, I sit at the kitchen table, picking at the skin on my nails. I wince, feeling the cold ripple through my veins. Ever since D.C., I haven't had the best view of my powers. I see them as a burden more than a blessing.
"Another insomniac," Bucky comments as he enters the kitchen. He doesn't go for the fridge or any of the cabinets, he decides to sit across from me. His hair is pulled out of his face, and his clothing suggests he's either going out for a run or heading to training. "And here I thought I was the only one."
"Sorry."
"You seem better today."
"Physically, sure. Mentally, not entirely." I rest my head against my closed fist.
"I know that feeling all too well, Rory."
"Does it get easy?"
"Does what get easy?"
"Accepting the past, what you did."
"Everybody's different. Is this about your mom?"
I wince. "I never killed anyone before, Bucky. I was thinking about survival when it happened. Does it always feel this shitty afterwards?"
"Killing isn't a nice feeling unless you're a sick bastard who enjoys it for sport." He snorts. "But, yeah, it's gonna feel shitty."
"Nobody told me to do it. I just...did it. I'm not sure if I can live with it."
"You may not like it, but you'll learn to."
"You kind of get where I'm coming from. You know any good methods?"
He chuckles bitterly. "If you want to learn the coping techniques, I suggest Natasha as your teacher, not me. I'm still struggling with my demons. You can't learn from someone who is learning themselves."
