All I Want for Christmas is You

Rain

Sometimes a week will fly by. Other times, it will drag on for what seems to be forever. This week, however, fit into neither of those categories. In one respect it seemed to last for all of eternity. It felt like every second lasted twice as long as I waited to see if Lizzie would wake up. On the other hand, it seemed to go so fast that I almost missed it. I knew that Lizzie could be gone at any minute, and I felt like every moment flew by, and that the time I had with her was nowhere near enough.

I spent every free moment I had in Lizzie's hospital room. I would sit there and do anything and everything I could just to keep myself from losing it. I held her hand, I sang to her, I told her about how practice for our special dance with Tracy and Taehyung was going, I told her about any escapades that had occurred. I sat there every day for what must have been hours, just talking to her. I knew that she wouldn't respond, but my heart told me to keep trying, just in case something happened and by some miracle she woke up. Deep down, however, I knew that she wasn't going to wake up. I knew that I would never talk with my sunshine again.

"Hoseok-hyung," a soft voice said, interrupting my thoughts and rescuing me from having another breakdown. I looked up to see Jimin standing in front of me. "It's time to go. We need to get ready for the concert." I nodded half-heartedly and stood up. I slowly let go of Lizzie's lifeless hand and looked at her peaceful face one more time. I turned to leave the room and tried to ignore the feeling of my heart tearing in half. I walked out of the room and closed the door and stood there staring at the floor for a few minutes. Jimin put his hand on my shoulder. "Are you sure you can do this hyung?" he murmured. I slowly nodded.

"I have to do it. For her. She wouldn't want to disappoint ARMY" I took a deep breath and walked down the hallway with Jimin by my side. You can do it. Do it for Lizzie.

We left the hospital and headed over to the concert venue. Thankfully, the concert seemed to be going well. It was painful, and I could tell that none of us really felt like performing. However, I kept reminding myself that I was doing it for Lizzie, and it gave me the strength to push through. The time finally arrived for the special dance with Tracy and Taehyung. Everyone except for Taehyung, Yoongi, and I went backstage, and Taehyung introduced Tracy and brought her out onto the stage. The fans cheered, but I could barely hear it. I took several deep breaths as I prepared myself for what I was about to say. After Tracy's introduction finished, I stepped forward.

"ARMY, thank you so much for being here for our special concert. I know that you have all been anticipating this special dance for months now. However, as I'm sure you heard... Lizzie..." I swallowed hard and looked down to try and prevent myself from crying. Come on, you haven't even started the song yet. I heard a sympathetic awww come from the crowd, and I took a deep breath and looked back up, willing the tears in my eyes not to fall. "Lizzie was in a car accident and is in the hospital in a coma right now. This... this song is in honor of her, as I know how excited she was to perform it and for you all to see it. I hope that you will enjoy it in her honor tonight." The lights dimmed, and I went to stand in my place. On the way over, Tracy and Taehyung stopped and gave me a hug before going to stand in their own places. I looked over to Yoongi, who gave me a reassuring nod from where he sat at the piano. There was a moment of silence. A spotlight came on over Yoongi and he began to gently play the piano. The next spotlight to come on was over where I stood with my microphone. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and slowly began to sing.

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

I don't care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas tree

A third spotlight came on over Taehyung and Tracy and they began to dance. Despite my efforts to fight it, I felt a tear run down my face. All I could think of was the peppy, lively dance that I had practiced hundreds of times with Lizzie. However, after everything that had happened, I couldn't bring myself to do something so lively and happy. I had decided to slow the song down and have Suga play it for us instead.

I just want you for my own

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is you

With every word I spoke, I felt my heart ache more and more. It's for Lizzie, Hoseok. For Lizzie. A few more tears escaped my eyes as I watched Tracy and Taehyung dancing together.

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

I don't care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas tree

Tears now flowed freely down my face as I fought to make it through the song. My heart ached so much that I could hardly stand it.

I don't need to hang my stocking

There upon the fireplace

Santa Claus won't make me happy

With a toy on Christmas day

I fought as hard as I could to keep myself from breaking down. I had to do it. I had to make it through the song. For Lizzie.

I just want you for my own

More than you could ever know

I could feel myself trembling. Despite my efforts, I knew I couldn't fight it much longer. Thoughts of being with Lizzie clouded my mind. I could barely get the words out.

Make my wish... come true...

*Flashback*

"What 'bout you?" she mumbled,"Whaddyou want for Christmas?"

"Me? All I want for Christmas is yooouuu..." I replied with a grin, singing the last part. She giggled, and my heart felt as light as a feather.

"Honestly though, what?" she said.

"I mean it Lizzie. All I want is for you to be here with me." She lifted her head and looked me in the eyes.

"There's really nothing you want?" I shook my head and smiled.

"Nope. Just promise me one thing." She lowered her head back onto my shoulder.

"Anything," she replied with a sigh.

"Promise me that you'll never leave me," I murmured. She closed her eyes.

"I promise sunshine," she replied softly,"I promise."

*End of flashback*

All I want... for Christmas... is you...

I couldn't fight it any longer. I collapsed onto the stage sobbing. I felt Taehyung, Tracy, and Yoongi all come over and hug me, and a few moments later, I felt the rest of the members join the hug. I could faintly hear the fans chanting my name, but it was drowned out by the sound of my own sobbing. My head was flooded with emotions.

Oh Lizzie, my precious sunshine Lizzie, please wake up. I can't live without you.

~*~

Yep, totally no tears while writing this chapter. None whatsoever.