All I Want for Christmas is You

All of My Life

Dead.

The word wouldn't stop ringing in my ears. Everything was dead. My happiness was dead. My motivation was dead. My emotions were dead. My heart was dead. And Lizzie... To me, she was already dead. She was there physically, but I knew that she was as good as gone. All they had to do was pull a plug and she'd be dead. It was as if she was reduced to something like a lamp. Just a mere functioning object whose power could be extinguished with a simple flip of a switch. Even though she was still physically alive, I knew that she was dead. The Lizzie who I had fallen head over heels in love with, who I had laughed, cried, and done everything else in between with, the Lizzie who had become my whole world, the real Lizzie, she was dead and gone. And I knew that she would never come back.

Dead.

From the time that Suga and I had received Namjoon's call at the studio to the ride to the hospital to sitting in her room like I was then, I couldn't stop the word from ringing in my head. I stared emotionless at her lifeless body.

"Why this way Lizzie?" I whispered, "Why did I have to watch you die?" I swallowed the lump in my throat and stood up and began to pace around the room. "We still had so much ahead of us. We had the rest of our lives together..." I trailed off as I turned back to face her, forcing myself to hold in the tears that were burning my eyes. "Why did it have to end this way?" I almost whined, my voice cracking before I dropped it to a whisper. "You promised me that you'd never leave me." As memories of the night before the accident came to my mind for the millionth time, I felt a wave of emotion come crashing over me. All of the emotion that I had pent up by remaining stone-faced and cold to everyone for the past week was finally released in full force. Emotions of grief, emotions of heartbreak, emotions of... anger. I was more angry than I had ever been in my life. Angry at myself for not catching Elizabeth before she ran into the street, angry at the driver that hit her, angry at the doctors for not being able to save her, and angry most of all at Liz for leaving me when she had promised that she never would. 

"Why did you leave me Elizabeth? Why?" I demanded, almost raising my voice to a yell. Deep down, I knew that she had had no control over it. But at that moment, I didn't care.

I was angry.

I was hurt.

The one person who I had believed would never leave me, no matter what, had left me.

Just like everyone else had.

Just like her.

"You left me Elizabeth. You left me just like she did. All of those promises of forever, yet in the end, you're both gone!" I was actually yelling at that point. And I didn't care. "I trusted you Elizabeth. I trusted you with my whole heart. But I can see now what a fool I was. You're no different from all the rest! You're just like her!" Tears began to pour down my face as I spluttered out my last sentence.

"I don't know why I ever loved you in the first place!"

And with that, I stormed out of her room.

~*~

A short chapter, but a very important one nonetheless. See you again soon..... *evil scheming author face*