All I Want for Christmas is You

Hold Me Tight

I have seen many sad, painful, and heartbreaking things in my life, most of which I wish I could never see again. But to this day, I still believe that the saddest, most painful, most heartbreaking thing I have ever seen or will ever see is Hoseok crying.

Hoseok is a strong person. Jungkook said that he didn't cry when Liz got hit by the car. He didn't cry when he called to tell us what had happened. He didn't cry while we waited for what seemed like hours at the hospital. He didn't cry when the doctor told us that Liz was in a coma. He didn't even cry when the doctor told us that she probably wouldn't wake up and might only have a week or two left at the most. He didn't cry the entire way back to the dorms. His face was unreadable the entire time. Unreadable, that is, until we walked into the dorm. He stepped in first, pausing for a moment in the doorway. He slowly walked into the living room, stopping in the center of the room. He bent over and picked up Liz's beloved Santa hat that had been abandoned on the floor because of the chase. He stood up slowly, staring at the hat. None of us knew what to say. None of us knew what to do. The silence screamed at all of us. He lifted his head to stare at the sprig of mistletoe hanging above him.

"I... I just kissed her here last night..." he whispered, his voice quivering. He stood there for another moment before collapsing onto the floor in tears. The rest of us continued to stand in the doorway in silence. Tae slipped his arm around my shoulder, but I never felt it. I couldn't feel anything. Everything was numb. My body, my mind, my emotions, everything. I felt nothing. I didn't know how or what to feel. There was no point in feeling. My best friend was as good as gone. The friend who I'd known most all of my life, I'd never talk to her again. I'd never fangirl with her again. I'd never write stories with her again. I'd never stay up late watching youtube with her again. We'd never dreamily tell the other one about our boyfriends again. We'd never tease the snot out of each other again. I'd never talk to her about stupid things again. I feel like it's so stereotypical to say that you miss the little things the most, but it's true. The tiny moments, the ones you take for granted, the ones you think are completely dumb and most likely a waste of your life, those are the ones that leave the deepest scars when they're gone. As I stared at Hoseok with an empty gaze, I knew that he was the only other one who could understand my pain. Liz had been my best friend for years and years. And to Hoseok, she was his girlfriend, his Lizzie, his sunshine, his... his love. As memories of the night before flooded my mind, tears finally broke free and trickled down my face. However, they didn't help. I still felt just as numb and empty as before.

It was a quiet evening that we spent at the dorms. No one said much of anything. There was no reason to. Jin forced us to at least eat a few vegetables, but even he could hardly bring himself to eat. Hoseok sobbed on the living room floor the entire evening. No one dared to bother him. The night grew later and later, and eventually everyone but Tae, Hoseok and I had left. With the exception of Jin, who was in the kitchen, they had all gone to bed. Hoseok continued to cry softly for a little bit before finally falling asleep out of exhaustion. Tae and I had been sitting on the couch, saying nothing. I stared emptily at the chair across the room as a scene played in my mind.

*Flashback*

Fred: Just trust me.

Angie: Why would I ever trust you?

I rolled my eyes at the chatbox on my laptop screen. I suppose I deserved it though. But, whether she did or didn't trust me, I had to share my incredible discovery with her.

Fred: -.-

Fred: C'monnnnnnnnn

Angie: Dude, chill, I'll watch it

Fred: REALLY????? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WELCOME TO THE DARK SIDE

Angie: O.O ............on second thought