If I can help you (an Amasai fanfic)

Confessions and honesty

"Yo Saihara, I got your note. My bad, I would've realized that I still had your hat." Rantarou said with a chuckle. He noticed Shuuichi was holding a folder above his head this time. Poor guy had to go all day without his hat. Though it was odd how Shuuichi decided to write him a note asking for it rather than tell him directly. And why the courtyard?

School was finished and the two stood at the courtyard. Rantarou was holding two things, Shuuichi's note and Shuuichi's hat. The courtyard was paved with a side walk and a small fountain stood at the center, where they happen to be standing in front of. Especially since it was spring time and the atmosphere was perfect, it was warm with a gentle chilly wind and the grass parts of the courtyard either had trees with small blossoms or small flowers on the grassy surface. "It's alright, you can put the folder down." Rantarou said in a reassuring tone but Shuuichi stubbornly shook his head. Rantarou let out a gentle sigh and brought the hat forward. Shuuichi cautiously reached out for it and put it on, slowly putting down the folder next to his backpack that rested on a concrete ledge. "Oh yeah Saihara I wondered, why did you ask me for your hat now? Sure, I had counseling for majority of the day for advisement but you could've asked me in homeroom." Rantarou said, he looked at Shuuichi with questioning eyes, his green eyes indirectly demanding for answers.

"I-I forgot.." Shuuichi made a sheepish excuse. He wanted to run away, this was a bad idea. Why did he decide to do this? Rantarou was right, they had homeroom together and homeroom was the first period of the day. Shuuichi at this point started to doubt his plan. He adjusted his hat. "Are you sure there's nothing else you want to tell me?" Rantarou asked and Shuuichi didn't know if he wanted to say it. Maybe he'll try not to be direct and see how it'd go. Shuuichi cleared his throat.

"I-isn't spring nice..?" He asked with a sheepish and nervous smile. Rantarou shook his head in agreement. "It sure is! So you invited me to watch the trees or something? If so, we should sit on the bench to get a better view." Rantarou said, he smiled to hide his subtle confusion. "N-not exactly." Shuuichi responded, his hands were shaking. How would he go about this? When he sat down on the wooden bench with Rantarou, he looked down and fiddled with his hands with a nervous smile. The scenario sounded so easy in his head but it was so hard to act out. He started to remember Kaito's silly phrase

"Spring time magic, am I right?"

"A-Amami-kun.. this is kind of hard to explain but.." Shuuichi was looking down and kept fiddling with his hands. "Hm? What is it?" Rantarou asked, he looked clueless. Shuuichi remained silent. He felt Rantarou's gentle hand on his shoulder. "Go ahead, I'm listening." Rantarou said, his voice softer than usual. His eyes looked warm and encouraging, Shuuichi had to look at them. A part of him wanted to cry, another want to blurt it out and get it over with, and another part just wanted to run. Rantarou smiled again as he saw Shuuichi's eyes looking right at his. "Good, you're making eye contact." He said softly with encouragement. Shuuichi was at his limit at this point, he had to say it.
"A-Amami-kun I-"
He gulped and couldn't finish his sentence, especially with Rantarou looking right at him. "You what?" He asked, his face looked confused again.

"I... I.. l-like you.."
it was an inaudible whisper and Shuuichi looked away and at Rantarou's hand. He was proud of himself for saying it but he wasn't sure if Rantarou heard him. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" He asked and Shuuichi's face grew a bright shade of red. Rantarou sounded so gentle too as he said those words. "I said I.." Shuuichi let out a squeak as he felt Rantarou's hand on his cheek. It slowly moved Shuuichi's face to look back at Rantarou. "Maybe I'll hear it better if you faced me." Rantarou said softly, a soft smile played on his lips, if looked as if he was teasing Shuuichi. It was too much for him. "We're alone too, so you can say whatever you want." Rantarou continued, his fingers trailing to play with the small bit of hair that stuck out from Shuuichi's hat. Shuuichi took a hold of the hand and held it in place, even pressing it a little closer to his cheek. He still didn't want to look directly at Rantarou to say it so he looked at the hand on his cheek instead.

"I.. I-I said I like you.."

the second part just quieted itself on its own. "I-" "that's enough now, I heard you." Rantarou said, surprisingly his hands didn't move and his voice still sounded soft. Shuuichi thought he'd hate him for this. Shuuichi felt some tears fall from his eyes as Rantarou remained quiet. He was waiting for him to yell at him or leave him. Instead, as Shuuichi cried, Rantarou moved his thumb to wipe away the tears that fell. Rantarou's other hand went to his other cheek and his hands were wiping away every little tear that fell from the mist.

"We don't need this." Rantarou whispered and at first Shuuichi didn't get it until he felt he weight of his hat lift from his head. He didn't know what Rantarou was getting at. Shuuichi than felt the warmth of an embrace.
"Let it all out.." Rantarou whispered to his ear as Shuuichi kept crying. "J-just answer me already..!" Shuuichi said between sobs, Sure Rantarou was comforting him, but he needed that confirmation.

Rantarou instead kept creating comforting circles on Shuuichi's back. "You can say I feel the same. Though it was hard to accept at first. Glad I'm not the only weird one." Shuuichi heard Rantarou's soft yet casual voice, it was close to his ear. Shuuichi got his answer but he kept crying. "Hey, Hey, it's okay.." Rantarou said in a comforting tone as his hand raised to the back of Shuuichi's head and he started to pet his hair, comfortably running his fingers through the soft, inky strands.

When Shuuichi's sobs slowed down, Rantarou moved him away him his chest and held Shuuichi's chin to look up at him. "Feeling better?" He asked as Shuuichi's eyes still let free some stray tears. Softly, Rantarou moved Shuuichi's bangs away from his forehead and planted a soft kiss. He saw a smile creep on Shuuichi's face. Then out of nowhere, Shuuichi started to laugh. It was quiet and soft at first but it eventually raised in volume. Rantarou looked baffled. "Hm? What's so funny?" He asked. Shuuichi looked up at him with a bright smile.
"It's spring time magic Amami-kun!"
"Ah, so that's what it is."
Shuuichi's sweet laughter was contagious as Rantarou found himself chuckling too. But nonetheless, Shuuichi was smiling and laughing, despite the messy dried tear stains on his cheeks.

And his smile and laughter is the most beautiful thing Rantarou had ever seen. He wanted to treasure it, no,

He wanted to protect it.