Camila's POV:
"I'm..." I started, but was interrupted.
"Lauren! Camila! Get ready, you guys are going on a few minutes earlier than planned," The stage manager called out.
"We'll be there in a minute!" Lauren yelled back. "Guess we better hurry. What did you want to say?"
"Okay, um. I'm..um. So, before i say this, just know..I have my reasons. I..I'm not sure if you'll understand my reasons, b-but they're important reasons to me. So....I'm...l-leaving," I said, stuttering, not wanting to fully say it.
"Like..you're going back home for a while? Why'd you have to tell me this now?" She asked, confused.
"No..like....this is a lot more difficult than I thought. I-I'm leaving....Fifth Harmony. And..I'm going solo.." I said quietly, not wanting to look her in the eye.
She didn't say anything for a while, so I looked back up and...she's not there. Oh my God, what have I done? She hates me now. She'll never forgive me. Is this the end of our relationship? Is she gonna break up with me? Does she think I'm breaking up with her?
There's so much going through my head right now. And on top of it I have to get on stage in...right now.
During the whole performance I watched Lauren to make sure she'd be at least okay enough to continue. She cried during No Way and I couldn't comfort her and it killed me to not grab her and hold her until she stopped crying.
After The Performance
Lauren decided to get in the shower first, so I have to wait longer to talk to her again. God, I hope she doesn't hate me. Please, please do not hate me.
"Mila..you good there?" I faintly hear Dinah say next to me.
"Hm? Oh..yeah. I'm totally fine," I said, very unconvincingly.
"...Okay, what happened?" She said, turning towards me.
Wait...I can't tell her. Not yet at least.
"Um...I can't really tell you right now. But when the time is right..I'll tell all of you..okay?" I said, hoping they won't hate me..too.
"Okay, that's fine," She says, smiling and walking into the bathroom...Okay so, Lauren got out of the bathroom and didn't say anything or come up to me..great.
I walk to the back room, thinking she'll be there. The doors closed, so I knock.
"Come in," I hear her husky voice say.
Here goes nothing.
I open the door, seeing her with a towel on her head, in pajamas. And the site that broke my heart, her puffy, red eyes, red nose, and tear stained cheeks...obviously from crying. Most likely because of me.
I sigh, sitting down next to her. She won't even look me in the eyes.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have to leave l-" I start.
"No, bullshit. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to leave us. Leave me..." She sniffs, eyes tearing up again.
"I'm not leaving you, I'm not leaving the girls. I'm leaving the contract, this management. None of us are happy. We haven't been in a while. I'm just the only one doing something about it," I try to reason with her, wiping away a tear that rolled down her cheek with my thumb.
"..Why? Why are you doing this now? Why are you leaving?" She asks, tears still rolling down her face. I give her a sad smile, my own tears freely falling now.
"Well, I have a few reasons. Obviously, the one I already said. None of us are happy right now. And honestly, all of you have been treating me differently in some way. I feel like the outcast sometimes. And I want more..control. I want to be able to write my own songs, sing about things I actually care about. I want to be more in control of my life and of my career," I could go on, but I feel like if I do, she'll just get more upset with me, so I stop there for the moment.
"Um...are you really not happy? Not even..not even with me?" She cries.
"I am happy with you. You make me so happy, you're the reason I hesitated so much in leaving. I'm just not..truly happy...with everything else," I whisper, hugging her close to me.
"A-are we..breaking up?" she asks me, crying harder at the thought.
"God, I hope not. I..I had no plans of ever breaking up with you. So, if you'd still like to be my girlfriend, I'd gladly keep you as my girlfriend," I say, kissing her on the forehead.
She nods her head, pushing her face into my neck and crying silently now. I cry and hold her, hoping everything will all come together.
"You...y-you don't h-hate me..do you?" I quietly ask after a few minutes of silence. She looks up at me quickly, eyebrows furrowed.
"Oh God, no. No, I could never ever hate you. I love you! I may be upset, but I don't hate you. It may hurt knowing you won't be here doing this with me forever like we said back on xfactor," She says smiling slightly. I let out a small laugh, remembering the exact moment she mentioned.
"I wish everything was simpler..." I say, looking her in the eyes. She's calmed down, but she still looks sad and exhausted.
"How about we sleep here tonight..together? I could use the company," I smile, hoping she won't mind if someone catches us.
"I-I'd like that," She says and I get up to grab us a few blankets and pillows. I lay the covers over her and put a pillow under her head while her eyes slowly open and close.
"Go to sleep, love. I love you with all my heart," I whisper to her, getting under the covers myself and cuddling into her.
"Te amo, mi amor," She whispers back, falling asleep instantly. I probably won't sleep at all, thinking about today and how I'm gonna deal with telling the rest of the girls. I hope they take it well...or at least won't hate me forever.
I look over at my sleeping beauty and kiss her on the cheek. Watching her after, I see she smiles in her sleep, making me quietly laugh. I spend the rest of the night staring at the ceiling of the bus, listening to the cars drive by, and thinking about what it'll be like as a solo artist and if everyone is gonna hate me or not.
