TW: mentions of self harm and eating disorders
Lauren's POV:
I've been sitting in this hospital waiting area for what feels like hours. I called Dinah to tell her what happened. I'm not sure how Camila would feel, telling the other girls, so I keep them out of it. Though I had to call her mom. Well, I didn't call her, the hospital did, then I did. I feel bad for her, first her husband is in the hospital, dying, now her eldest daughter is in the hospital. How much worse could it get for her right now?
"How you holding up?" I hear Dinah ask from beside me. I don't move or look at her, I just stare ahead and say,
"How would you feel if you had to carry your unconscious girlfriend to a hospital because she wasn't eating and was cutting herself?" I ask rhetorically. She puts a hand on my shoulder and gives me a sad smile.
"I know you're hurting, but things will get better. I know they will, " I shake my head, tears threatening to fall again.
"What happens if Alejandro dies? If she's like this just from him being sick, what's gonna happen if he does? How much worse could it get?" I ask, starting to cry again.
"I'm not sure if there is–"
"What if she tries to kill herself, Dinah!?!" I yell, standing up from the uncomfortable chair. I can feel and see people's stares. Some people even gasped. Can they blame me? I'm here because my girlfriend is hurting herself.
She's fucking depressed, now just go in there and demand to–
"Family and friends of..Camilla Cabello?"
"It's CamEEla CabEYo," Dinah says, standing and still staring at me.
"My apologies, but we've ran some tests on her and we believe she's ready for visitors. Is her legal guardian here?" I check my phone real quick to see if Sinu is coming or not.
No New Messages
"Not yet, at least."
"Ah, well. You two can still see her, if you'd like," the doctor walks off towards her room.
Pft, if I'd like. I'd like to stick my shoe up your a–
"Can we know what's wrong with her?" Dinah interrupts my thoughts.
"I'm afraid not. I'd need to inform her legal guardian, since they're not here, I'm not allowed to tell you anything. I'm sorry."
"It's alright."
In the hospital room:
"Lauren? Dinah?... Why am I here?" she asks, sitting up. Thank God, she's awake.
"Thank God, you're awake," That was my line, Dinah. I'm the girlfriend.
"I don't know what I would've done without you–what we would've done without you. You better not do that again, ok?" I say, grabbing her hand and kissing her on the forehead. I look down at my hands holding hers, my eyes trailing to her arms. Tears spring to my eyes and I have to swallow the lump in my throat as I, again, see all the cuts she's made on her perfect skin.
She pulls her hand away from me, hiding her arms by folding them across her body. She must have noticed me staring.
You idiot, everyone noticed you staring. Don't. Upset. Her.
Right, sorry...Why am I talking to myself?
I grab her hand again and look her in the eyes.
"Promise me you won't do this again. Please. Look me in the eyes and promise me," I say staring right into her chocolate eyes.
"..It's not the simp–"
"Promise me," I'm literally begging her right now. I don't know how I'll deal with this if it happens again. It'd kill me.
"I promise..to try. I can't promise I'll stop, it's not that easy. But I can promise that I'll try," she gives me a small smile. All her smiles seem to always be fake now.
"I guess that's good enough right now," I say, bringing her into a small hug. I'm afraid if I touch her, she'll break. Literally break, like I'll actually break her bones if I squeeze her too hard. When I pull away she nervously glances at the IV bag.
"What're they pumping into me, anyway? Heh," she tries to ask casually. She failed. She's nervously going back and forth between fidgeting with her hair and her fingers, her bottom lip in between her teeth.
"Why?" Dinah steps forward from the chair in the corner of the room. All Camila did was shrug her shoulders, looking down and playing with the hospital gown.
"Why do you want to know what they put in the IV bag?" I ask, standing up straight. I have a bad feeling about the answer.
She mumbles something very quietly. It's obvious she doesn't want to say, but I'm too stubborn to let it slide so.
"Why do you want to know, Camila?"
"Ooh, whole name, she's in troooubllle," I glare at Dinah, giving her my 'not now' look.
"Why, Camila?"
"They're probably..."
"They're probably what?"
"Pumping me full of calories.." I stand there staring at her. Is this really happening right now?
"What does that matter, Walz?"
Dude, ya girls got an eating disorder.
Shut the fuck up, me. This is not happening right now.
This can't be happening.
Camila simply shrugs her shoulders at Dinah question.
"Just seems pointless. Why gain more weight? Why give me an IV when I'm perfectly fine?" Is she fucking serious right now?
"In case you couldn't tell, you're in a fucking hospital right now. You're not 'perfectly fine' at all!" she flinches at the change in my voice. I'm on the verge of tears. There's a mix of sadness and anger and confusion all swirling around in my head. I thought she wasn't eating because her dad. I didn't think it'd get this far.
I slowly back away from the hospital bed.
"Lauren? You ok?" Dinah places a hand on my shoulder. I don't say anything. I simply turn and get out of there as fast as I can. Leaving my sick girlfriend and one of my best friends in a hospital.
She promised. She better keep her fucking promise. It'll kill me if she doesn't.
It'll kill me.
