Previously:
"Okay...it's your father. He was having some troubles with eating and..swallowing foods. We took him to the doctors today and...mija, you're father has esophageal cancer.."
"W-What?"
"I'm so sorry, mija. I wanted to tell you face to face, but I thought you should know right away."
"I um...I gotta..go."
"Wait! Mi-"
Call Ended
I immediately drop my phone, not caring if it got cracked or not. I stood there, completely silent for what felt like hours until I felt Dinah touch my shoulder.
"Mila? Are you..are you ok?" I nod my head, still staring ahead of me. I slowly start walking towards my bunk.
"Mila? Hey, wai-" I get in my bunk and close the curtain before she can say anything more. After I heard her footsteps hesitantly leave, I decide I can cry now...But nothing. I'm..not crying? I feel so...sad, yet so.....empty. Like, it hurts so much that I can't cry. Maybe my brain hasn't processed it fully yet. I know what's happening, I fully understand, but maybe I haven't processed it yet. I lie there for probably an hour or two, staring at the top of my bunk, feeling nothing and thinking everything.
"Camz?"
Lauren pulled back the curtain and slowly got in next to me. She didn't ask me what was wrong, she just knew something was off. She wrapped her arms around me and I buried my face in her neck. Still, no tears, even as she squeezes me tighter and rubs my back. I just lie next to her, emotionless. empty. nothing...
"Dinah wouldn't tell us if anything was wrong, so I knew that was my cue to come check on you." So she doesn't know yet.
"I'm..fine." I whisper into her neck. I mean I wasn't crying, people could believe I was "fine."
"I know you're not fine. Something's wrong, but if you don't want to tell me, that's fine. I'll wait until you're ready for me to know." She replied, kissing my forehead when she was done. I nodded and closed my eyes. Just for a second. She's so warm and comfy.
When I finally opened my eyes again, Lauren was no where to be seen. I grabbed my phone and-
2:43pm
Wow, I slept that long?
I got out of my bunk, looking for Lauren. I can kinda feel the emotions rushing back into my brain and I'd like to have her near when they fully come back. Why is nobody here? I'm pretty sure I've searched every nook and cranny of this bus and it's empty. Heh, kinda like me right now. Anyways. Right when I was about to give up and lie back down, I heard the door open and whispers–well one loud whisper and three other whispers. I made out what I could.
"Guys, sshhh. She..asleep.
"I doubt she's still asleep anyway."
"Dinah, shut...way too loud."
"Says you you little-"
"Alright, y'all both need to...before I...ya hear me?"
"Yes, Mother."
"Ok, Mom."
"Good."
I crack a small smile, hearing their banter. I walk back out, pretending I'm not a total mess. Before anyone can say anything, I sit down on Lauren's lap on the couch and cuddle into her.
"You left me alone," I whisper in her ear.
"I'm sorry, you looked so peaceful. I didn't want to wake you up," She whispered back, hugging my waist.
"Alright, Camren, stop being grossly adorable for a second. We need to know if we're still doing this girls day out?" Normani questioned, looking at all of us. I looked at Dinah just to see she's already looking at me. She's giving me this apologetic/begging look. I don't know if she wants me to go or if she wants me to say no.
"I'll go if you go, Camz," Lauren looks at me, knowing I wasn't in such a happy mood. The rest of the girls look at me too, waiting for my answer. I don't want to let any of them down or make them think I don't love them any less.
"You know...I'm not really feeling too good–"
"Obviously, you took a nap like an hour after you woke up–" (me)
"Ok yes I get it. I think I'm just gonna rest for today. Maybe tomorrow though," I let out a forced smile and small chuckle. I know I disappointed them. I let them down. Normani was really excited to be planning an entire day for us and I had to go and screw it up for them. I always ruin everything for them. Everyone would be happier without me here.
"Mila..."
"Hi."
"...Do you want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Come on, Walz."
"Go away, Dinah."
"...Okay. I'll leave you alone then."
When she finally walked away, I decided to properly check my phone for the first time since...yeah.
6 missed calls from Mami❤️
46 messages from Mami❤️
2 missed calls from Papi💚
15 messages from Papi💚
I really didn't want to talk to them at the moment, but am I supposed to just ignore my mother? And my..sick..father? With shaky hands, I went to press the call button on my moms number, but...
Well who likes the mixture of my life and 5h life? :D Anyone? Anyone? No? Ok...
