Hero (Loki & Avengers)

Seventeen

I know why it killed me now to walk away from Loki. 

I like him, and I'm not going to be naive and pretend that I don't. I'm not saying I should like him or even that I want to, but I do.

I've always found him absolutely fascinating, but I'll never forget the moment a shift in me occurred. Looking back it's obvious. The night after the men from Mr. Connor's lab tried to kill me, I will always remember the way Loki made me feel when I thought there wasn't a single thing anybody could say to help me.

Somehow he did, he knew exactly what to do and say and it meant the world to me. It showed me parts of him I would bet he's never showed to anyone before. I can still feel myself holding his hand, laying on the grass.

That night set off a change in me, and it's childish to deny it. I like Loki.

But I still don't necessarily want everyone to know, and I don't even know if I want to pursue anything. Cap was cruel and cold today to me and Loki, but he also might have been right. Who am I to say I know Loki better than all of them do? I only met him so recently.

But then why does it also feel like I know him better than anyone? Like knowing him is as easy as knowing myself? Dammit Cap, why did you have to follow me?

He messed up something simple and made it the hardest thing in the world. I just hope he keeps his word and keeps quiet.

I don't leave my room all night, too embarrassed and upset to talk to anyone. I only manage to buck up the courage to go outside when I hear commotion and see people flying back and forth by my door.

I curiously get up and walk out into my doorway, listening as Tony shouts something in the living room to everyone.

"Guys we have a potential soul stone sighting down in South America. Locals are going crazy, gangs are fighting everywhere. We think alien tech is involved. It could be nothing, but it's worth checking out." He informs the group.

"We leave in five, grab what you need!" Cap yells. Everyone else must have had more time to get ready, or they just always have a bag packed, because people begin to file outside to the driveway where I'm assuming the aircraft is waiting.

I turn around and rush back into my room, glad to have another mission to distract me from this drama with Loki and Cap. I'm also glad I'll finally be able to use all of the knew skills I've been learning in my exhausting training with Cap.

I can hear that everyone has already left for the aircraft, so I grab a few last things and jog out to the hallway. When I get to the living room, however, Cap walks inside and puts a hand out in front of me to stop me.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asks like a condescending parent.

"To the ship, clearly." I reply, somewhat annoyed.

"I don't think so. You'll sit this one out, Cassidy." He tells me and my heart drops.

"But I've worked so hard!" I protest immediately, dropping my bag by my side and throwing out my arms. No way can he take this away from me. I've shed blood, sweat, and tears for weeks because of Cap. So I would never repeat mistakes I made last battle.

I know I messed up. I know I killed someone. That's why I need redemption. I can do better, and I need to prove it to myself. Honestly, I just want to use my powers for good while I still have them.

"You've barely trained, Cassidy. This isn't some fun pastime of ours, this is life or death." He replies, not budging.

"I haven't worked hard? I've never worked harder in my life! I've given everything I have to training my powers!" I shout.