Hero (Loki & Avengers)

Twenty-Two

I let Loki sleep on our conversation last night, eventually getting up and leaving him alone to think.

I had a lot to think about as well, but I came to the same conclusion over and over again. I love him.

I get out of bed on this hazy and cloudy morning and quickly change into some clothes. I walk over to Loki's room and see the door slightly open.

I knock softly, "Hey, do you want to go eat breakfast?" I ask as a way to diffuse any lingering tension or awkwardness from last night.

What I see when I walk in the room is a frantic looking Loki, in the same outfit as yesterday, pacing back and forth in his room.

I close the door behind me.

"Loki, are you alright?" I ask.

His eyes spring over to me. They look red and bloodshot from fatigue. No, he most certainly isn't okay. He's panicking.

"Tell me it isn't true." He blurts out and I'm taken aback.

"What?" I reply.

"Tell me you don't really love me, please." He begs.

I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. I look at him apologetically.

"I can't." I answer truthfully.

He visibly sinks. "I will hurt you," He says solemnly.

"I don't care." I shake my head.

"Well I do." He snaps, "I'm a monster, Cassidy. And monsters do monstrous things to people."

I walk over to him and grab his hand, "I believe in you, Loki. You are good."

He laughs sinisterly and shakes his head.

"Well I suppose it doesn't even matter, the others will never let you be with me. All that they see is all that I am. And God, I don't know how I tricked you without even trying to, but somehow you see something when you look at me that nobody else has before." Loki says.

"Maybe nobody else has ever truly seen you." I reply, he removes his hand from mine.

"We are so unalike Cassidy Martin. You shouldn't feel this way." He backs away from me, shaking his head.

"Don't tell me who I'm allowed to love, Loki." I snap back, suddenly growing annoyed at him.

"I suspect nobody could ever tell you what to do." He replies with a smile.

"You could. I'd do just about anything for you." I tell him and his eyebrows furrow.

"But I don't want that!" He shouts, and I keep quiet, "I've taken advantage of every person in my life, but I refuse to do that to you. I admired you for your independence, and your courage. Don't be blinded."

What he says just backfired, because it only makes me love him more. But I also recognize that it's not fair of me to keep berating him about this. Maybe he truly doesn't want me the way I want him. Maybe I misread things.

"If this is your way of letting me down easy, then just say it. I'll understand." I say, bracing myself for the devastating blow.

"Stop that. You know...you know I care for you. I'm not trying to pretend I don't." He says, and it's the closest thing I've gotten to an admission of his feelings, "But lets be honest Cassidy, I can't have you. This would never work."

I bite my tongue. I can't argue with him forever.

"What are you saying Loki?" I settle on this, letting him decide where we go from here.