𝐀𝐋𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 ‣ jjk

七十四 ; purpose ⁂

day 22
0.00 pm
jeon jeongguk
3rd person point of view
note form

purpose

surprises happen all over the world; some good, some bad, some heartbreaking, some overwhelming.

out of all the surprises in the world that could happen to him, jeon jeongguk never expected this one.

"i'm so sorry jeongguk, it's... leukemia."

leukemia was supposed to be tolerable. it could've been treated with time and effort, but all hopes of these possibilities were crushed with his doctor's next words. and they shattered jeongguk's heart into even smaller shards.

"we've discovered your illness very late, it'll almost be impossible to cure or slow it down. we are so sorry."

he didn't shout and break down like everyone thought he would. instead, he let the tears slip down his cheeks endlessly as he stared blankly right ahead, not letting out any noises or whimpers. he was in so much shock that it almost seemed deafening to his ears.

first the doctors thought he had only overworked himself, but they soon realised there was something very, very wrong.

for the past 4 weeks jeongguk had horrible headaches and was vomiting a lot. he had horrible headaches and the first time he vomited streaks of blood on his bathroom sink, jeongguk really thought that he was going to die. his body temperature also rose violently.

this had to be some sick joke, jeongguk had thought to himself. he forced himself to meet his doctor's eyes.

"a-are you sure?"

"we do have your previous test results but we can still run some more. however all of your symptoms tell us the same result. we are not sure if chemotherapy--"

"i don't want chemotherapy or tests," jeongguk cut in. "be honest with me, doctor. how much time do i have?"

he was afraid of the answer, he wanted to shut himself out from the world and wait to die on his own.

"i cannot tell you numbers," the doctor sighs regretfully. "but it isn't much time at the rate it's going."

jeongguk nodded, now breaking his eyes off his doctor's as he stood up. he didn't realise that his body had been trembling uncontrollable until his legs gave out and his hands gripped onto the edge of the hospital bed. he ripped off the IV stuck onto his hand and the doctor could only reach forward to help as jeongguk was showing no signs of wanting to be stopped.

"you don't have to worry, i'll talk to your manager and your teammates as soon as i can," the doctor offered, but jeongguk shook his head violently.

"no, they don't have to know."

"but jeongguk-ssi--"

"promise me that you'll never say a word to anyone," jeongguk's voice was filled with desperation and distress, and it clenched around the doctor's heart. over the eight visits jeongguk made to the hospital, the doctor had taken a liking to the teenager. jeongguk was always smiling, always polite, always kind. it was such a shame.

eventually, the doctor nodded his head, saying that he'll do anything for him. "then what are you going to do now? your family at least has to know."

jeongguk's reply came in later. "i'll... think about it."

"whatever it is you're thinking of doing, we are all here for you with your every step. you have my endless support."

he walked home later that night without considering a ride. with every step he took, his heart grew heavier and heavier, almost as if there was a huge rock in his chest. his throat felt dry, his body was numb. his thoughts were clouded with what if's and uncertainties.