𝐀𝐋𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 ‣ jjk

七十六 ; fade away ⁂

[a 2.5k words gift for 5k reads,
i hope you'll listen to Jungkook's Only Then cover while reading this chapter (i've attached the song above) this one is a little emotional so i suggest you get a drink, sit back and relax. enjoy, loves]

day 22
7.55 pm
lee haru
note form

fade away

there is a warmth that tumbles out in the winter time when all else is so cold. it radiates from those who love and nurture as easily as they breathe. in truth, the sparks of warmth are always there no matter the season; just like a warm rock blends into a summer beach, yet melts winter ice.

in my case, warmth comes in the form of jeongguk's arms wrapping around me, engulfing me like a cosy blanket on a stormy night. it's accompanied by his soft breathing; like the gentle breeze in the morning, and his comforting voice that never fails to make me feel like home despite being miles away from it.

when home is a person, you feel secure and safe, no matter where in the world you are. home is the feeling you get when they wrap you up in their arms and you know that you are taken care of.

when home is a person, it doesn't matter where you come from or what you've been through. home is where you are loved wholly and unconditionally, without barriers, restrictions, judgements, or expectations.

maybe my home back in seoul didn't exactly fulfil all of these, but jeongguk made it happen all in a single month. because home is where you are most comfortable being your absolute self-where you are treasured and celebrated for the unique flaws and quirks that make you authentically, you.

it's funny how jeongguk just knew which strings to tug on or how he has a way with his words that always seem to convince everyone he's talking to. like me.

and it's also funny how he knows how to spread a smile on his face even when he's dying of pain on the inside. he knows how to convince me that he's fine through the look in his eyes. he knows how to change my mind and give me hope even there seemed like there was none left.

someone like that couldn't possibly be having leukemia. because god would've been proven unfair.

it all seemed like time had stopped, and the worlds outside began colliding with each other. the strings inside of my heart finally burst and i feel a trickle of a tear falling down my chin.

no, he can't be sick. someone like jeongguk just can't be sick.

but the doctor's eyes were unwavering, as if he was completely sure. my grip had tightened on jeongguk's hand as he laid asleep on the hospital bed. my fingers traced the IV connected to his hand, feeling my heart break more and more with every thought that he had probably suffered so much on the way here. and all just for me.

as i was leaning outside the room door with my ears pressed against it, the fact that he was still trying to hide his secrets even when we've already made it this far just amplified the throbbing in my chest.

oh how much i wanted to stand up and scream to his face to stop worrying about what i want and do what's best for himself first. but jeongguk has a clever way of manipulating people's minds, because he's on the brink of tears as he's begging me to wait.

and judging by the smiles he's giving me on the way to the park where the sky lanterns were supposedly going to take place, i don't think he knows that i know.

"i see it!" jeongguk suddenly pipes up like an excited child.

i look up and follow his gaze to the middle of the park where a large group of people were already gathering. the snow isn't falling so hard tonight, as if the weather had been expecting us to be releasing lanterns into the sky and gotten a bit generous.