𝐀𝐋𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 ‣ jjk

八十一 ; calm and passion

day 29
11.11 pm
jeon jeongguk
3rd person point of view

calm and passion

the old studio is dark when he climbs
in through the window
the floors are dusty
the power gone out from years of abandonment

the only light source in the room
is the moonlight shining through the windows

jeongguk sets his bag on the ground
takes out a lamp and places it on the ground
along with a set of earphones
which he plugs into a phone
and begins playing some music
before striding in front of the large mirrors

music, to him
is like turning back the clock
traveling and returning to a previous life
full of agony and loss
he embraces the music
and in turn the music takes control
he finds himself in a different world;
a world of pain

his movements flow with dazzling grace
he can feel his soul becoming one with the music
and he unleashes his emotions into his dance

he wanted this as badly as he wanted to breathe
the entirety of his being
begins advancing in movement
with purpouseful clarity and absolute control
with each poised stride he takes
it became obvious just how demanding
and rigorusly punishing the practice of this
sequence had been on his body

he dances until his sweat falls to the polished wood
and his reflection shows pink and flushed cheeks
he flashes back to the last time
he'd been dancing so freely like this

that was a month ago
with the people who loved him
cheering by his side
and a smile on his face
instead of tears and chapped lips

he tries to imagine dancing beside his hyungs
he hears Hoseok's voice
telling him that he's got the moves correctly
he hears namjoon and seokjin giving him praises
yoongi throwing a remark on how jealous he is
taehyung and jimin joining him in front of the mirror

"you're doing good, gguki
always a fast learner"

he dances until every muscle in his body
is screaming out in pain and exhaustion

"heol how did you do that spin?
can you show it again
and i'll follow you-- oompf
never mind, i give up
you go ahead"

he dances more until the night grows colder and colder
until the fire in his lamp begins flickering away

he imagines dancing with the girl of his dreams
in the middle of a park under the falling snow
with no other distractions and trouble in the world

"if you're going to keep stepping on my feet
you might as well just get on them"

he can almost feel
her throbbing heartbeat against his chest
the warmth of her arms console him
and he just wants to lay down with her his entire life
just to feel that feeling of comfort forever

but he's brought back to reality;
there is no girl anymore
there aren't warm arms wrapping around him
and he can only hear his own heartbeat
pounding so loudly;
in pain instead of happiness
he's cold, lonely and empty
dancing his last in a dark and dusty room
with her name ringing in his ears
refusing to leave him alone

his feet collides with an
uneven piece of wood on the floor
and in a split moment
he feels a ripping pain in his right arm
where a rusty nail had pierced through his skin

there's blood seeping out of the wound
and he bites his bottom lip to muffle his cries of pain
as he washes it with water from his bottle
he slumps down against the wall
head leaned back with his arms dangling at his sides
eyes shut
lips parted as his breathing begins to finally calm down

he grimaces as he tries to move his body
and it seems like it has already given up
yet still
he forces himself up
and drags his tired feet in front of the mirrors

he stares at his reflection
he looks exhausted and worm out
face pale as if all the life has been seeped out of him
lips chapped
eyes red and the bags below them dark
due to his inability to sleep

he tries to ignore it and starts the music
dancing again into the night
with more and more memories flashing
in front of his eyes