The Deal (English)

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

*Harry Styles*

“Can I ask you something?”

Olivia’s voice brought me back to reality, as I broke through my thoughts and turned to face the girl lying beside me. We were currently under the blankets, having finally caught our breaths from minutes before, and lay down in comfortable silence. I was glad she’d finally said something, because I needed to distract myself from what had been going on in my head since the last couple of days, what Lexi had said when I’d defended Olivia after their fight.

You’re falling for her.

Of course I wasn’t. That’s what I always told myself every time the sentence popped up into my head. Because there was no way I was really starting to think of her as anything more than just a friend. No, I couldn’t break the deal. Besides, the whole thing was too cliché. Two people starting out as just friends who have sex and then falling in love? Overdone.

Besides, if I broke the deal, then I’d lose her forever. And as weird as it seemed, I needed her. And I knew, even though she would never admit it, she needed me too. But if I let my mind go there, to a place where love between us did exist, then every aspect of our friendship was ruined, and I’d let her slip from between my fingers.

I figured the more I thought about it, the more the chances of me actually falling for her increased. But even though I wanted to stop thinking about this, I couldn’t get that one line out of my head. You’re falling for her. You’re falling for her.

How long could this go on for? How long would we stay ‘friends with benefits’? It had to end sometime and what if that that was just around the corner? How would we stop anyway? Was there something out there that was strong enough to break the bond I’d come to form with her?

At that moment, the only thing that seemed likely to stand between the two of us were my feelings. If I let them get out of hand, if I thought too much about what Lexi had said, then maybe…

But no, I couldn’t let that happen.

Or maybe the deal would be called off if one of us found someone else. For me, the chances seemed quite less. I spoke to different girls every day, but somehow, none of them held my attention long enough for me to even consider. But what about Olivia? She found guys way more easily, so it would be really effortless for her to find someone, even if she wasn’t too serious with him. Would she call the deal off then?

Somehow, I didn’t like the idea of her being with anyone else. Feelings aside, I knew her body in a way I didn’t think the other boys she’d hooked up with did, and I didn’t like the thought of sharing her with someone in that way.

But looking at her like I was doing now, I realized that at some point, I was going to have to suck up and do it anyway. And I was not only going to have to share her, but also let her go. Because we weren’t supposed to fall in love, but someday, we were going to. And maybe, it wouldn’t be with each other.

So what was I going to do then?

“Sure.”

“When was the first time you did it?” she asked, and her question took me by surprise.

“Did…?”

“Sex,” she clarified. “When was the first time you had sex?”

“Why?” I asked her.

She looked at me. “I…I’m just curious.” She said.

I chuckled, and then answered her. “Mm, it was two years ago.” I told her. “With this girl called Julia.”