The Deal (English)

Chapter Twenty Five

Chapter Twenty Five

*Harry Styles*

“You’ve got to stop,” Louis said with a sigh. He was currently sitting next to me as we sat in the dingy bar, downing beers.

“Stop drinking?” I asked him, my words beginning to slur. “No.”

“I mean,” he said, “you’ve got to stop sulking. You’ve got to stop feeling bad.”

I knew exactly what he was saying, exactly what he thought I felt ‘bad’ about. ‘Bad’ didn’t even cover the way I felt. I’d do anything to stop thinking about Olivia, and it seemed impossible to do. Everything that had happened between us from the very beginning till the Ferris Wheel episode was constantly playing in my head, and sometimes the longing was so intense that it made me sick. Thoughts of her consumed me completely, eating away at my insides. I was miserable without her, but at the same time, I was angry.

I was beyond angry, to be honest. What was she running away from? Why was she so scared? Why wouldn’t she just give me a chance to show her I could treat her the way she deserves to be treated? The face that I was sitting and pining for a girl who would probably never be mine filled my heart with a sadness that made it hard for me to breathe. I should have stayed away from her. I should have listened to Louis when he’d first told me that our ‘deal’ would end up with one of us getting hurt, I should have listened to Lexi when she’d said that Olivia would never care for me the way I’d started to care for her.

“I’m fine, Lou,” I said, my tone unnecessarily harsh. “I’m not feeling bad.”

“Niall took her to a party recently,” he told me.

I always knew that she’d been friends with Niall before she even knew me, and if the situation was better, I wouldn’t have cared. But the moment Louis mentioned the two in the same sentence, I felt my blood boil. No doubt if they’d gone to a party, they’d gotten drunk. I wondered if she’d kissed him in her drunken stupor. Would he kiss her back?

“Good for them,” he muttered darkly.

“She’s a mess, Harry.” Louis said, his tone soft. “She misses you.”

“Yeah, well—” I started angrily.

Louis cut across me. “You miss her too.” He said firmly.

I sighed, my shoulders slumping and I rested my forehead on the wooden counter, feeling the cool material on my hot skin. I shut my eyes, taking my trembling bottom lip between my teeth. “Of course I do. I miss her so much, Louis.”

“I don’t understand how you guys can’t just try to be friends,” he said. “You both are so miserable without each other.”

“I’m sure she’s fine.” I said. I couldn’t even stand the thought of trying to be ‘just friends’ with Olivia. I’d considered it, considered taking her calls and telling her we’ll get past this, but thinking of being around her and having to ignore my feelings every day, having to pretend like I wasn’t hopelessly in love with her would kill me. It already was.

“She isn’t.” he told me. “She’s back to drinking heavily and…you know, being a mess. Like she was before—”

“Lou, stop,” I begged softly. “I don’t—I can’t—”

“I refuse to believe she doesn’t feel the same way, Harry.” He said softly and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Maybe she’s just—or maybe she doesn’t know yet—”

I shook my head. “She doesn’t.” I told him, the absolute finality and truth of the statement making my heart ache. “And I just…I’m going to have to deal with it.”