Playing With Fire

11

Standing in front of the mic with the noise canceling headphones on. I look at Valentino, my manager, through the glass, the boys that make up my band waiting anxiously behind him. I take a steady breath pushing away the thoughts of what happened between Jay and I a few days ago out of my mind, but no matter how hard I try it always comes back. It's not his fault, he just wants to get to know me, and I know it's not fair to him that I'm not warming up to him, not letting him know the real me when he's been so open about his, but no matter how badly I want to, I can't. I can't talk about my mom, about my past, like that. Just thinking about it makes me feel uneasy and I know he won't judge me, not by a long shot.
"Ava?" Markus calls out to me through the speaker.
"I'm okay." I reassure him. He was a long time friend that I met along the way, he was almost like a brother. "I'm okay." I give him a kind smile before starting to sing. We had to finish the album today so we can start our first concert in a month. Earlier when I first started we the album, when we first got together and got everything situated, but we only released half of it to see how it'd come out. It was a huge success in under a month, so now we're back together starting the second half and trying to finish it. Clearing my throat I nod giving my okay for them to start the music. I picked up quickly on vocals, notes, and timing, I always kept up with the latest music, took classes on the side without my mother finding out so I could live up to MY dreams one day. Though I guess being a famous actress was a big push when it came to my singing career, so in the end I should be thanking my mother.

I guess not opening up to Jay was a bigger deal then I thought it would be because it's been two months since our little spat. Though I hadn't realized how much time had passed until I was standing in the middle of a screaming crowd. I was alive with this energy that was so unexplainable, I couldn't explain just how high it made me felt, how good their screaming made me feel. "I want to go back to the sweet surrender of you..." I couldn't explain how connective this song was to Jay and I. I did miss him, more than anything, he was all I ever thought about. When I get to the house I set my keys on the table before turning on the TV, just for the background noise, but the sound makes me stop short. Jared stands in the middle of a stage on some talk show I didn't even know was on this channel, singing his new song Rescue Me. The sound of his beautiful voice had my heart beating like a drum, he looked rough around the edges, but when didn't he? His hair was in a bun and his beard, God I hated it, was unruly on his beautiful face.
I had to tear my attention away from the TV to go into the kitchen just to pick up the house phone. Chewing my lip I look at his name on the tiny screen, thinking about the sex. I think about it far too much during the day, especially at night. Him tying me to the bed, fucking me roughly into the bed, on the couch, choking me as I cum. Shivering I press the call button. God I need him. I need him now. It seems to ring for forever before it reaches his voice mail.
"Jay. It's me obviously. Look I don't know what to say to you, but I'm sorry, that I can't open up, that I can't give myself to you emotionally... but-" It beeps again, telling me the voicemail it too long. "Fuck Jay." I hang up before going upstairs to the shower. As I stand under the cascading water I start to think about other men, what it would be like, if it would be as satisfying, but nothing seems to get me going like Jay. Besides that we were still technically date, neither of us had called it off and just because we were talking didn't mean that we weren't still together. A part of me wanted to believe that, but another part knew it wasn't true. If we were still together wouldn't he have reached out or visa versa? Would he be screening my calls? Sighing I get out and try calling him again but again it goes to voicemail. I give up with calling and opt to text him instead.
'Can we talk?' I wait anxiously for an hour before texting him one finally time. 'I need you Jay.' Sighing once again I decide just to go up and go to bed and let it be. As much as I need him and wanted to be with him I couldn't be. I wasn't going to force myself back into his life if he didn't want me. Laying in bed I toss and turn but sleep never comes.
"Fuck him." Now annoyed I slide out of bed, pull on my robe and go to the one person I know will take my mind off him, but just as I get to the front door someone knocks. Who the hell is that? It's two in the morning. I yank open the front door to find a panting Jared. Surprised I take a small step back. "Jay?"
"You want me right?" He asks in a hard voice. Meekly I nod in response. "Good." He snarls grabbing a handful of my hair pulling my head back as he presses himself into me before smashing his lips to mine. Moaning I couldn't help loving his roughness. In one fluid motion my robe was gone and I was being pressed into the wall face first while he was tugging off my underwear. I suddenly cursed myself for putting on underwear before trying to go to sleep. I've grown accustomed to sleeping naked while I was with him.
"Jay." I moan, wiggling my hips brushing against his erection making him growl. I couldn't wait, I needed him now, anyway he wanted. His fingers curl around the elastic of my thong yanking them off in one pull. I gasp probably more dramatically than needed when my core hits the colder air, but I don't have much time to think about just how cold it is because the next second his fingers are touching me, feeling me, tracing me. Moaning I wiggle again involuntarily making him angry. His hand pulls away from my soaping wet core to pin my hips to the wall.
"Stop moving." He growls his crown pressing into my entrance gently sliding himself into me to the hilt. I couldn't explain how sated I felt from just one single, small, thrust. I couldn't believe how soaked I was just thinking about him fucking me. I could feel myself leaking onto him, my entire body alight with the need to be satisfied.
He doesn't let me adjust to him, he pulls back his hips before starting his pleasing with fast deep strokes. I was a moaning, withering mess beneath him like he so enjoyed. He had me pinned to the wall with his hips and his hands, pounding away, using me at his own will. I was his puppet and he was pulling all the right strings. Before I knew it I was teetering on the edge of pure bliss my thighs shaking, my knees threatening to buckle underneath my weight.
"Jay I'm so close."
"Not before me." I nod before clenching around him. "Fuck you're so fucking bad." His hand hits my ass making me groan in pleasure, pushing me closer, making me clench harder. "But so fucking good." He moans in my ear. "You're so addictive, so hot, good I'm so in love with you."
"I love you too." I moan through clenched teeth.
"God how did I get so fucking lucky?"
"Jay please."
"Almost babygirl, almost."
"Hurry." The sound of my wetting core resounded back at me as his hips hit mine harshly. I was on the verge of letting go completely, letting him torment me so long as it meant I could cum, but I didn't have to. His abs tense and I feel him break, his body shuddering behind me and finally I let go. It was a relief to finally be so sated, to finally get the satisfaction I needed. Spent I relax against the wall his head resting on my shoulder panting heavily. I suddenly wanted real sex, not kinky fuck me in the dark sex but real sex, passionate sex. I push him away from me gently before turning around to face him, my hands cup his face before I kiss him slowly our lips molding together. I pull myself into him, wrapping my arms around his neck kissing him deeper before slowly starting to peel off his clothes. Surprisingly he lets me undress him until we're both stark naked pressed against one another.
His heard body against my softer one sent little zaps of electricity across my skin, hardening my nipples. His hand follow the curve of my back before squeezing my ass in his controlling hands, gradually finding my thighs before lifting me up onto his waist. His lips languidly move over mine before carrying me up the stairs his hands tracing the skin of my thighs. He makes it up to my room dropping me onto the bed causing me to gasp slightly, spreading myself for him. His eyes greedily rack over my body before meeting mine once again. Grinning a predictor smile he leans over kissing the inside of my thigh, skipping over my sex to kiss my waist, gradually making his way back to my lips. His mouth lands gently on mine again, his hands brushing over my body before his hips slowly meet mine. I gasp softly pulling away from his lips, panting softly his kisses the side of my neck his hips slowly moving with mine, my legs moving high up his sides, my hands clinging to his back. His body moves slowly, each thrust long and deep knocking my breath away. It felt wrong to make noise so I don't, instead only soft gasps pass my lips in panting breaths.
This was different this wasn't like any other kind of sex we've had before. He was gentle and passionate in a different way. This was a side of him I'd never seen before and I have to admit I love it just as much. I could feel myself brinking my orgasm, the pleasure building inside me with each sensual thrust leaving me clinging to him. Panting his lips meet mine again, a sheen of sweat forming on his skin, his muscles rippling with every thrust of his hips.
"Jay." I pant before his lips meet mine again, pulling away almost instantly.
"Cum." He breathes against my mouth and I do. My body presses against his, arching into him, my chest flush against his. I feel him break a second later his warmth spreading through me. Panting he presses his forehead against my breast his breaths brushing over my nipple. Gently his tongue licks over it making me gasp and arch into him. "Ready for round three?" He pants making me chuckle softly. I switch our positions so that I'm sitting astride his lap, my hands gently roaming the plains of his chest as I stare his soft skin. His hands wrap around my hips as he looks up at me gently. "What's the matter princess?" He reaches up brushing back some stray locks of hair tucking it behind my ear.
"I want to talk to you." I say looking up to meet his eyes. "About me." Slowly his hand falls from my hair, tracing the side of my cheek, skimming over my neck, caressing my breast, gliding down my stomach before finding my princess parts, rubbing softly. Gasping I buck my hips against him.
"What about?"
"Just my life." I pant. "What it was like being a lap dog." He presses into my nerves harder making me groan softly.
"So then tell me." He sits up to kiss each of my nipples pulling one into his mouth, pinching it between his teeth simultaneously rubbing my nerves at the same time. I resist the urge to bounce on him, to forget about what I was saying and start to ride him. I'd never done it before and now that I had the change and I wanted to talk, coincidence I think not.
"Well when I was five my mom put me through this program-" I moan when he switched sides his pointer and thumb pinching and rolling the wet nipple between their calloused pads. My core spasms clenching around him. "-called Little Actresses. It was run by this group of hippy men." I let out a disappointed whimper when he pulls away to look up at me.
"Did they touch you?"
"No, but that didn't mean I wasn't unhappy. They smelt like skunk and would always favor the pretty girls. They made us remember scripts and stories-" I buck against him involuntarily as his fingers work faster. Panting I grip his shoulders tighter before one of my hands move to tangle in his hair. "We were five." I pant. I decided then that I would stop talking and just fuck his brains out now, but his hand smacks against my ass making me gasp, my core wetting.
"And?" He presses his fingers pinching my clit making me groan.
"They- they pushed and prodded, the made up scenarios, they-" I'm cut off my another moan as he leisurely starts to rub my clit again. "-they made you into a monster, manip-manipulated your emotions. Made you into something you weren't." I could hardly think straight as I feel the familiar pull in my stomach. I was close. I couldn't understand how I'm on top, yet he still has all the control.
"Keep going." He forces his fingers to stop working me, I can feel them twitching against me wanting to keep going.
"I just-" I let out a big breath of air my mind drifting to the thought of cumming.
"Ava." He growls pinching me again. I cry out my nails digging into his chest as I stable myself.
"I just had to keep- keep myself sane and Lilly was the only way I could do that."
"You made an alter ego? To protect yourself from your own mother." His voice was gentle, sad, like he just got what was happening.
"Yeah." I moan. "Now please Jay." I groan my nails biting into his skin making him groan softly my core clenching around him.
"You're being so good." He purrs sitting up to kiss me gently. "Go ahead princess." He lays back on the bed getting comfortable, his hands behind his head watching me. I don't start slow, I dive right in the need to fuck him setting itself in. My body takes off like a shot, lifting off him just to come right back, my slick heat allowing me fast easy momentum. Moaning I pick up the pace moving against him harder the tension building in my belly. "Fuck Ava so down." He grunts his hands wrapping around my hips to try and calm the hunger burning within me.
"No." I pant. "I need you. I want you."
"Ava." He groans, his teeth grinding together. Grinning I clench purposely around him, loving the control I had over him. Now I was the one in control. "Ava I mean it."
"Cum Jay." I purr my hand finding my heavy breast pinching my nipple as my head falls back, a moan tearing through my chest.
"Ava." He groans his hand smacking against my ass making me jolt making me moan loudly. His other hand finds my core feverently rubbing my clit. I practically scream, my stride faltering a second. I did not want to cum before him. I wanted to make him cum. I hold in my desire to break bouncing against him harder my core spasming with every harsh thrust. "Fuck Ava." He groans his nails digging into the skin of my hips as he breaks. I keep mine in a little longer my hips not slowing in the slightest. Jay pants his hands squeezing me as he groans his molars grinding as his head presses back into the pillow. He was so clearly enjoying this. He lets out a big breath looking down at where we were joined watching me take him.
"God Jay." I moan.
"Fuck Ava you're so good." Moaning I come undone my body shaking as I cum, my hips stilling. I sit on him letting my body relax until I was ready to move looking up at him before getting off him to lay on the bed.
"We have to do that more often." He pants.
"Agreed." I second before turning over into my side ready to fall asleep. "Love you Jay."
"Love you too Ava." He brushes back my hair before kissing me softly.