Playing With Fire

13

The sound of the alarm wakes me from my unsettling sleep. Groaning I shut off the alarm and get up, my body aches in places it's never hurt before, but I push away the pain and head for the shower. I turn on the hot water and strip out of my pajamas inspecting my growing stomach in the mirror. Three more months baby. I lightly trace the mound feeling the familiar kick back before getting into the shower. The hot water eases the pain, washing away the sweat from yet another restless night. Jared's been away for a little over a month and a half now forcing Amarissa  to watch over my every move. I get out wrapping the towel tightly around my body before starting to brush my overgrown hair but I stop short, the need to vomit creeping up my throat. I lean over the toilet but nothing comes up, making me grunt. The heartburn with my pregnancy was unreal I had a lifetime supply of tums and they were pretty much gone. With unwanted tears welling in my eyes I sit on the edge of the tub and sob.
"Mrs Leto?" I head Amarissa calling for me, but I don't answer her, the tears taking up my voice. She knocks on the door before coming in. "Oh Mrs Leto what's the matter?" She rushes to my side trying to comfort me in someway.
"I don't know." I hiccup. Moodswings weren't a rare event in this house especially now that Jay's gone, which may just be the reason for him leaving. I frankly didn't blame him.
"Oh Amore." She lulls me gently her hand rubbing through my wet hair. "Your hair's gotten quite long." She notes making me chuckle softly.
"Duly noted." I wipe the tears from my face before looking at her.
"Let's go cut it. I've got a license to cut you have nothing to worry about."
"Let's go out, have a spa day together." I suggest.
"Amore. I cannot. I am the help I cannot."
"It's fine Amarissa I'm giving you the day off to spend it with me. Don't let me be lonely."
"Okay okay." She gives into me grinning. "Go get dressed Amore."
"Thank you Amarissa."
"You're welcome." I sit in the chair as the hairdresser brushes my long hair.
"Need a cut today?" I look back at Amarissa, who's sitting in the pedicure chair reading a magazine yet.
"Yes."
"How much."
"All of it. I want a short pixie cut." She hesitates looking me in the eye.
"But your hair... it's beautiful... that's at least twelve inches."
"All of it." I say picking up the scissors handing them to her. "Now."
"Do you want to donate it?"
"Sure."
"You're sure, hundred percent."
"Take it all."
"Okay." She holds up the scissors to my hair and lops off a handful. I need a change, something different, something new. Half an hour later all of the weight of the long locks is gone, the pixie cut hitting just the bottom of my ear lobe. It was such a mom haircut. The thought makes me flinch slightly. A mom, I'm not ready, I can hardly live without my husband how am I going to handle a kid... by myself.
"Amore." Amarissa gasps. "What have you done?"
"You don't like it?" I ask looking up at her.
"I- I do, but it's a big change."
"Good." I stand up from the chair and pay for our spa day.
"Amore, the car's this way."
"I want to walk, I'll meet you home Amarissa."
"Mrs Leto."
"I'll be fine." I assure her. Since finding out I was pregnant, not only did we just tell the world less than a month and a half ago, but we also told them about my past. About what my mother did to me, about my name being false to seperate my life, now not only did the world know we were married, expecting, but they knew me not as Lily, but as Ava. They knew me as Avery Leto. My hand brushes against my stomach, feeling the way the baby kicked relentlessly. Why is he moving so much? He never moves this much. Worried for a second I stop walking putting my hands around my belly. Why is he so restless today? I take a few deep breaths focusing on the kicking fetus inside my womb passing love and affection through my veins as best as I can but he won't calm down. I pull out my cell phone and call the doctor.
"Doctor Colbies office." Her receptionist picks up the phone after a few rings.
"Hi this is Avery Leto is Doctor Colbie available?"
"She's with a patient."
"Can I speak with her for just a moment?"
"I'll see if she can take the phone call."
"Thank you." I wait patiently for the doctor to pick up the phone listening to the hold music that sounded like it was from the nineteen hundreds.
"Here she is." She hands the doctor the phone.
"Hello Avery."
"Hi, I just have a few quick questions."
"Sure hun."
"Well, he's moving around more than usual. Should I be worried?"
"Well have you been stressed, more active, sudden change in diet?"
"Maybe a little stressed, I'm currently walking home."
"I think it's normal, go home, rest and if he's still moving too much in an hour call me, but if he stops moving suddenly come in."
"Okay. Thank you."
"And Avery."
"Yes."
"Call someone to take you home."
"I will." I say softly, so I call Amarissa to come and get me. "I'm sorry Amarissa."
"It's fine." She takes me home and makes me sit on the couch with a blanket over me. So I stay still, relaxing on the couch reading a book when I feel his head press into my stomach, moving and turning. "Ah." I hiss as he positions himself. "Jesus kid please just lay still." Taking my advice he stops short of moving. "What the hell?" Before I can question him, I feel something trickle down my legs before a sharp pain hits my lower abdomen. "Oh no." I stand up, soaked from the waist down. "Amarissa!" She comes running in from the kitchen.
"Mrs Leto? What is it?"
"My water broke."
"What? You're too early."
"Well he doesn't care, can you grab my bag? I'll meet you in the car." Clutching my stomach I slide into the passenger seat trying to use my breathing exercises when Amarissa gets in throwing my bag in the back.  "I need doctor Colbie, now, it's Avery Leto." I snap at her assistant.
"Avery-"
"My water broke." I choke out, tears spilling down my cheeks.
"Avery, Avery, calm down hun it's going to be alright."
"He's so early."
"Avery calm down, you need to relax, you're going to push yourself into early labor. I'll be waiting for you at the door, keep up your breathing."
"Okay." I choke out.
"It's okay Avery. Trust me."
"Okay." I breathe, trying to stop the tears.
"Call your husband alright?"
"Okay."
"It's going to be just fine. I'll see you in a bit."
"Okay." I hang up and called Jared, but it rings through to voicemail. "Goddamn it Jay." I groan I try three times, but it's all the same. By the time I catch his voicemail the third time Amarissa has us in front of the hospital.
"Come on, I'll try him once you're settled in. Don't worry." Amarissa coxes me helping me from the car, where Doctor Colbie waits. She takes me right into a room where she and her team hook me up to a shit ton of machines and she gives me something to stop the contractions. An hour later they've all but stopped and I finally find some peace to relax. Amarissa comes in and sits beside me.
"Amore, how are you feeling?"
"Better, did you get a hold of Jay?"
"No, I'm sorry sweetheart, I'm going to try again in a few minutes."
"No, he'll call back, it's not like I need him now."
"Why don't you rest amore?" She strokes my hair until I fall asleep, but two hours later I'm awoken by the immense pain in my abdomen. I call for the nurse, my heart rate spiking setting off all kinds of bells.
"Keep calm, it's alright." About ten people bustle around me trying to get the machines to shut off and fix my contractions.
"He's not in distress."
"She's not bleeding."
"The baby's heart rate is steady."
"Blood pressure's steady." Another hour later I'm drenched in sweat and the contractions have finally slowed down. Doctor Colbie comes in holding a file.
"Avery." I look over at her feeling drained. "It seems like he's doing just fine and so are you. We've given you a different medication for the contractions, I suggest you rest before delivery."
"Delivery?"
"I'm afraid there's no other option, we can't keep stopping the contractions with different kinds of medication, you're seven months along so he shouldn't be too premature."
"Will he be okay?"
"Everything's looking good, but I'm afraid we won't know too much until he's born, but as of now he looks healthy, just under weight, which we can stabilize in no time."
"What's the success rate?"
"Eighty percent, now rest, you're going to need your strength." I nod before asking one more question.
"Has anyone heard from Jay?"
"I believe Amarissa has."
"He's on his way?"
"Yes." She smiles at me gently. I knew it didn't make a difference though he wasn't going to make it in time.