--Pain-- // VxBTS // ||Taegi||

Chapter 12

*not proof-read*

Yoongi's POV
Oh my god... I have to explain everything to Taehyung...

But....

... I don't have an excuse.

All I did was because I wanted to, and as much as it hurts to say this... I didn't even thing about Tae in the first place.

He doesn't have feelings for me, or at least that's what he made me understand. Why can't I be happy? Why do I have to wait for something that is not even going to happen? Why is he hurting? We weren't together in the first place. Why do I have to see everyone enjoying their lifes while here I am... Sad and depressed, clueless as to where my life is going to.  I comfort people, I help them... I'm hiding my pain so that there won't be any worries.

How can people not see those fake smiles while saying everything is going to be alright when we all know it's as bad as ever?

Those 'jokes' that actually hurted me but I tried to laugh it off...

And still... After doing everything for everyone I'm still treated bad. If I do a mistake, all of a sudden they forget everything and yell at me.

I'm tired... So tired...

I want to end this....

But I won't.

We only have a life, I don't want to waste it being a crybaby. I'll just wipe my tears, put my fake smile on and there! Ready to go!

Here I am, being the selfish person I am... But what about Taehyung? He's been treated badly... and... I-I promised I'll help him, s-support him...

Instead....

I made everything worse.

Is it worth even trying anymore? Should I just leave? Would he be happier without me?

                                ***

''T-taehyung...?'' I knocked softly on the door.

No response.

''T-tae please, open the door!'' I begged being desperate.

Desperate to see him.

Desperate to talk to him.

Desperate to see him smile.

Desperate to hug him.

Desperate to whisper sweet words in his ear while cuddling.

Desperate to feel him fall asleep in my arms.

Desperate for him.

The door opened. There stood Taehyung, eyes red, tears on his cheeks, his hair ruffled and his swollen lips probably from biting them hard trying to muffle his sobs and crying...

My first instinct was to hug him, and that's exactly what I did.

Only to be pushed away.

I looked at him a little hurt, I know I wasn't the one supposed to feel such feeling at this moment. My face quickly changed to guilt.
I tried to touch his cheeks, my body aching to just hug him and kiss him now and there, but he slapped my hand away.

''Y-yoongi, n-no...'' he looked at me, pleading me with his eyes to just go away.

''N-no T-tae, please let me explain...'' Of course I won't give up, not when the love of my life is right in front of me and even with his face swollen from all the crying still looking as gorgeous as ever.

''Y-yoongi, there's n-nothing to explain. Y-you were tired, you couldn't wait for me. You wanted to try and be happy... To feel how it is to wake up next to someone, be able to kiss them on public without getting disgusted looks. Someone who can give you kids, your own kids...Someone you can call a wife.
I-i can't give you any of that, nor am I prepared-'' I cut him off bringing him in my embrance, hugging him tightly afraid that I'd lose him... Afraid that the next time I blink he'd go away.

''Don't ever say that Tae. Don't ever, but EVER listen to what people say. Live your life however you want. I don't need my own kids when there are plenty waiting to be adopted... I was stupid for giving up on you, I'm sorry for ignoring you, I'm sorry for messing up everything. I- I can wait for you, and I will until you realise your feelings. I know you're confused but would you please give me another chance?'' I asked him, my eyes pleading him to say 'yes'.

''No.''

''W-what?''

''Y-yoongi, I don't even know why you're saying sorry. I mean, we aren't together. I don't love you. I don't like you. It's too soon, so there aren't any reasons why you should be. Right?'' Taehyung said with a blank face...

Did you hear that?

That was my heart shattering.

Is he saying the truth? I understood the 'loving' part, maybe is too soon for him to love me. But... the 'liking' part left me numb. Does he really not like me? Am I that bad?

''G-go to your girlfriend, I'm sure she needs you. I'm sorry I was too clingy and not let you text her freely. ''

''T-Taeh-''

''Dammit Yoongi, don't make it harder than it already is. Just g-go.'' he said then he shut the door closed.

I was staring at the door, tears falling from my eyes. I turned the other way slowly sliding down the door.

I guess that's it.

He doesn't love me. I was so stupid to think that he would at least like me.

I messed up... But, if he doesn't like me then why was he crying?

'Pfft, don't be stupid! He was crying because you didn't tell him. Did you really think he has feeling for you?'

Deciding that I won't go in my room, I got up and got out from the house.

Tonight I want to forget everything.

To forget Taehyung.

To forget every time I ignored him.

To forget Jungkook's smirk thinking that he won.

To forget the way Tae said he doesn't love me.

That he doesn't like me.

I want to drink until I forget his name.

To drink until I forget my name.

Until I forget these feelings.

Feelings good for nothing.

I knew I shouldn't fall for him.

Who does he think he is breaking the walls that took me so long to build?

Who does he think he is making his way to my heart just to stab it a thousand times?

Should I give up already?

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I don't know about you but this is my favourite chapter from this book! 😂😂❤

What do you think it's going to happen the next chapter?
What do you think about this chapter?

Sorry for not updating but I am busy, you know... school...