Loving Lucifer [COMPLETE]

Chapter 33

My heart stopped. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I could feel all semblance of colour being drained from my face.

Our eyes locked, but what I saw differed from what I had expected. His autumn blue eyes were warm and full of concern; they belonged to the soul of the man I had fallen in love with. At that particular moment, it seemed impossible that he was the same man who had tortured my best friend and then me. But I had seen him and I had felt his hands on my skin. I had heard his voice.

I glared at him.

"What's going on?" he asked.

I turned to look at Matt.

"How did you find out we were here?" I asked coldly.

"I've been trying your cell phone all night long and then I decided to wait outside your apartment, because nobody was answering the door. I didn't know what to do. And then Sam came by this morning and said the two of you were here. I didn't stay long enough to find out why. I had to come see you both. Catherine, what happened?"

His question seemed sincere, but I knew better than to be fooled by him. I pushed myself up off the wheelchair, pain ringing through my entire leg and spreading throughout my body, and supported myself against the wall. I dragged myself forward until I was facing him, and I looked into his eyes with a cold and hardened expression.

"How have you got the nerve to come in here and ask that question?" I asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't believe Sam told you where we are. You don't deserve that knowledge."

"Sam doesn't know yet," Matt said.

I turned to face him, feeling confused.

"I will explain later," he supplied. I nodded and turned my attention back to Luke.

"Listen to me," I said, "I trusted and loved you more than I had ever trusted or loved any other man. Getting to know you was a journey of positivity; a journey along which I figured out how to solve my issues with my past. Memories that haunted me became fragments of my past which had formed my personality. But now you have broken that trust so completely; you have outdone Jason and even yourself. You spoke of your past betrayal with tears, but now I know they were crocodile tears." I paused. "I just need to know one thing, Luke...why did you take the time to get to know me and to make me fall in love with you, when all you wanted to do was break me in the end?"

His eyes widened in surprise. He shook his head and opened his mouth, but no words came out.

"I've been beaten up before by somebody I trusted, Luke. But you went a step too far. Matt did nothing to deserve what you have done to him. And I will never forgive you."

"Catherine, I swear," he suddenly said, tears filling his eyes, "I have no idea what you're talking about. What are you saying?" He took my hands in his but I swiftly pulled them away.

"Don't touch me."

"Catherine!"

"Don't play the fool, Luke. I know how your memories haunt you, so please don't play forgetful."

"I don't understand what's going on."

"I need you to leave."

"Catherine!"

"Go. And never ever show your face again."

"But-"

I glared at him.

"You deserve every single curse bestowed upon you, Luke. You were right to hate yourself. Because you are the true definition of evil."

I could see his heart breaking in his eyes and my heart broke too. I had said everything I needed to say - I had expressed every single emotion that his actions had stirred up. But that didn't erase the memories and the hopes I'd had; it didn't take away the love I had felt for him and the dreams we'd shared. My heart broke because the future I had constructed for myself over the past months was crumbling before my very eyes, and the man I had loved had become the image of hate.

He nodded in defeat, turned around and left. I shut the door behind him, and turned around so I was resting against it. My eyes filled up with the tears I had refused to shed in front of him, and they burst forth, like a dam that had suddenly fallen apart. My chest became wrecked with sobs, my lungs felt too small for the breaths I needed to take, and my hands were shaking, sending tremors over my body until an earthquake exploded in my mind.

It was just too much. Too much for one person to handle. Too much for me.

"Kate...I'm so sorry," Matt said.

I shook my head at him.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Matt. Time and time again, you've been there for me, and time and time again I have depended on you and used you as a crutch, and now you've had to pay the ultimate price for my recklessness."

"Kate!" he said, "Can you please come back to your wheelchair? I can't keep stretching my neck to look at you."

I nodded reluctantly, and painfully dragged myself back until I was sitting by his side. I looked into his face but my heart filled with shame at the thought of what my choices had resulted in for him.

"Kate..."

"Why didn't you tell Sam?"

"I was only awake for five minutes."

"Five minutes is ample time to discuss the most important detail."

"Kate...you love Luke; I didn't want to be the one to tell her what had happened until you were ready to face the truth - I didn't know what you would or wouldn't remember; I didn't know what had become of you - whether you too had fallen unconscious. I just didn't know. And I didn't want her to be prejudiced against him before speaking to you."

"You didn't owe him that."

"I owed you that."

"Matt, what happened happened...and we can't erase the truth."

"I didn't want to put Luke behind bars for assault, knowing that you loved him."

"The love I had for Luke doesn't change what he did to you. To both of us."

"I don't want to put you through testifying against him, Kate. I won't file a report. We'll just say we were assaulted by a stranger and that neither one of us remembers."

"Why lie?"

"Because it would irreparably break you if you had to testify against someone you loved, Kate...take it from someone who knows."

"Testify? Matt, I've known you my entire life. When have you ever testified in court?"

"There are just some things you have to keep to yourself, Kate. The truth is, I never got the chicken pox. I missed school for ten days in eighth grade because I was attending the trial for my father's death."

"Wasn't your father killed in a work-related accident in your garage?"

"My father died in our garage. And his brother, my favourite uncle, was the one who killed him."

"What? And why did you have to testify?"

"Because I was the one who found them."