Chapter 36

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 The rest of the day I spend at Graceland with Elvis. Honestly, most of it goes by in a blur with only one thing remaining constant. Him. We are practically glued to each other the whole day. It is almost like we're both afraid that the other will vanish once there is a certain amount of space put between us.


I feel like this all still hasn't fully sunk in for me. I spent so long just wandering around, alone and lost, but now here he is. Right in front of me. It's been months since we've been together. There are things that have happened that I'd rather be left unsaid, and I'm sure he feels the same way. But there are also so many things that I want to know and that I want to tell him. And that's exactly what we spend the day doing.


"What's Germany like?" I ask absentmindedly as I stroke small circles on the inside of his forearm. I watch as he responds with a inhale and slightly closing his eyes. After adjusting himself a little bit he looks at me and answers.


"Well when I'm there I sure do miss the food here," we both chuckle a bit at that. "I don't really know, it's just different. But I'm always so busy when I'm over there that I don't really have much time to think about it all that much." He grabs hold of my hand and holds it in both of his before bringing it up to his lips and placing a whisper of a kiss there. "I think you'll like the house."


I feel the corner of my mouth pull up ever so slightly into a tiny grin. "I can't wait to see it,"
I say quietly. Letting my temple rest against his shoulder, my smile disappears. "Elvis, can I tell you something?"


He twists ever so slightly so that his arm is now behind me and he can get a good look at my face. "Of course you can." He says it so simply.


"When you were gone," I start, a bit hesitant. "Elvis, I was such a mess. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I did everything I could do to try and keep busy just so I wouldn't think about it. But I always did eventually. God, I missed you so bad. I missed you so bad that it actually hurt." My eyes feel hot as tears threaten to make an appearance. I risk a glance up at him, only to find that he is watching me steadily, listening intently as he rubs my back. "Then I met this guy. Sam. He was so nice and so kind. It's horrible, but I just thought that maybe if I found someone else then I could forget about you, and then it wouldn't hurt so much. But Elvis, all it did was make it worse. Every time I was with him I wished it was you. I was being so unfair, and I hated myself for it. And then when he was gone I was alone again." Quiet tears are making their way down my face as I hold onto him tightly, never wanting to let go. "I was so lonely that it felt like I was shattered and broken inside."


Elvis doesn't say anything for awhile. The silence sort of settles over us for awhile, like a fresh dusting of snow. I have my face buried in his chest, soaking up the warmth that is radiating from him.


"I was the same." Elvis lets the words drift out of his mouth almost inaudibly. "Exactly the same. Anna, I had no idea what to do with myself after everything happened and you were gone. It almost felt like I was a dead man walking around, no life left in me. I wasn't myself, not even close. I was so hollow, it felt like someone scraped the man I was before out of me and left only a shell behind."


I wrap my arms tighter around him, feeling a pain in my chest at his words. It hurts me to hear him say these things, to hear about how hard things were for him. But they need to be said, I know this. His hands find their way to my hair. I feel his fingers twisting the tresses absently.

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