LOUISIANA SKY (COMPLETE)

12. Blue Gatorade

DALLAS POV

"Stop, just stop!", she says, pushing me away.

I look at her in confusion. Did I do something wrong? "Whats wrong?", is all I could muster out.

She jumps out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her. Frustration was apparent in her face. "You-you can't kiss me like that! You can't just tell me we have these rules and kiss me the way you do! It's confusing and it— it drives me crazy!" Her fists are down by her sides, her knuckles turning white.

I want to say something, but the words catch in my throat. I just stand there, helpless as I stare at her. She was right, I shouldn't have been kissing her like that. But I swear I wasn't doing it on purpose. Anytime we'd fuck like it was nothing, I'd get the urge to kiss passionately like I secretly wanted to show her that she meant something.

She storms out of the bathroom and I grab a towel to run after her. "I'm sorry", I whisper. I didn't know what else to say, I didn't know how to make this any better. All the things I feared were slowly starting to happen.

Her back's facing me. I watch her pinch the bridge of her nose as she turns to me again. "What is this to you?", she finally says. She smacks her hand down by her side and gives me a hard look. "I mean, what do you want!? Ever since you've come into my life, you've given me nothing but mixed signals. Sometimes I think you like and sometimes I don't think you like me at all. You hardly talk to me and when you do, it's just stupid shit to piss me off". She's pacing now, her hands on her hips. "And then the kissing. You fuck me like a one night stand, but you kiss me like you care about me!"

I stand there, soaking wet and unable to speak. Everything she was saying was the truth, but I couldn't even bring myself to tell her everything I felt. Seeing her like this, I wanted to tell her everything. The alcoholism, the prison time, my rehabilitation, my journey to self forgiveness. I wanted to share it all with her, but my fucking fear shuts me up. I just stand there, stare at her, a prisoner in my own mind.

She takes silence as an answer as she shakes her head. "I have a date, Dallas", she sighs.

Those words pierce me through the heart. I knew I didn't have the right to feel that way, I didn't even have the balls to tell her how I really felt. But although I couldn't find it in me to explain myself, I panicked at the thought of not having her to myself. I was trying to find another way, any other way to keep her here with me.

***

SKY POV

"We're not together, you're free to do what you want", he says flatly. I'm not sure, but I can almost feel a hint of regret in his voice.

Despite everything I said, a small part of me wanted him to stop me. To tell me I shouldn't go. Although he hadn't confirmed or denied his emotions, his silence told me enough, but deep down inside I still felt wrong for dating someone else.

"I know, but I thought I'd just give you the respect of te—" I could barely finish my sentence when I'm interrupted by Dallas pushing me to the bed, his upper half hovering over me.

I hold my breath without meaning to. "Do you like him?", he asks me. His eyes are clouded with that familiar darkness again and his voice is in a husky whisper.

"Yes", I gulp. My brain told me to push him away, but my body was betraying me once again. I hated the way he made me feel. I was so kissed off, so angry at him. He was so cut off from himself and didn't have enough respect for me to at least tell me what he was thinking. But every time he touched me, it was like my mind would go blank and I'd just drift into him. I'd begun relying on him to take me away and that was my downfall.