The Origins Trilogy

Chapter 11

"So," he pauses,

"I take it that you enjoyed my little present?"

I look at him, his knowing gaze covers my body like a blanket, and I feel completely vulnerable. Lying to him was completely out of the question, I knew that the men that came to my house were his, I knew that he knew what I had done, but what I didn't know was why. I had no idea what his end game was and at this point, I no longer cared.

This man was a master manipulator, he didn't wait for someone to give him what he wanted, he just took it no matter the cost. I knew all of this information, I knew that any further conversations with this man would result in me being nothing more than a pawn in his game of chess. All of this was very clear to me, but with everything that's happened with Sam, with my father, he was all that I had left.

I should have left right then and there, I should have saved myself from whatever manipulation tactics he was going to use on me, but I stayed exactly where I sat because if I left this room, if I left him, there was no one else left for me. The only person in the world that I loved was lost to me, the person I hated more than anything was finally dead, and I was the reason for both of these situations.

Without someone to hate, without someone to love me, the only person I had left was him. He was the last of the people in this world that had any feeling toward me, whether it was selfish or not. I knew he was just using me, I knew that he was trying to break me, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

"Don't be cute, you know what I did, and I know that you covered it up, and I know why," I say cryptically, my voice low and stoic.

"Really? Enlighten me." He asks, leaning back in his seat, his straightjacket hugging his body tightly.

"Power. Power over me. I'm your psychiatrist, I'm the only person who has access to you, the only person who could help get you out of here. You sent my father, because somehow, you found out how much I hated him, how much I wanted him dead.

You knew that I would try to let him go, and you knew he'd be as much of a dick as he's always been. And you knew that I'd kill him for it. That's why you pressed yourself against me, that's why you asked to be my valentine, somehow you knew I'd be weak for some attention, any attention, and you played on my weakness.

That's why you pulled away just at the right time, you wanted me angry, you wanted me upset, and you wanted to channel that anger towards him. That's why you sent your posse over to clean up my mess.

You knew that if you had my fathers body, you would have the evidence, you could blackmail me into helping you. Helping you escape, am I correct so far?" I state. He didn't answer, only raised his eyebrow in response, as if interested in what else I had to say.

"Well, there's just one thing wrong with that plan, you don't have to blackmail me Mr. Joker, because there's nothing left for me here anymore. You won, I've lost everything, everyone. As much as I hated him, he was all the family I had left, all the fight I had left, he was my motivation to help people.

He was my motivation to be good because I always knew, that deep down, I would never be as bad as he was. But last night all that changed, the moment I stabbed, I lost the last piece of myself that made me normal, and now, now I'm a monster.

You know, I came here trying to make a difference, trying to help a friend fight his darkness, but how can I help him when I'm just as dark as he is. He hates me, the only guy who ever loved me, hates me. Without him, I have nothing, no one.

So, if you want to blackmail me, go ahead, I've got nothing else to lose, no one else to fight for," I finish and the tears start to fall again, I know that I should not have said all this but it was true.