Just me.

Fighting back

I have this tendency of spiralling back into depression. Whenever something goes out of my control, I think it the end of the world, though I don't say it out loud, but that's exactly what I think.
So when I wasn't able to complete my project and submit my assignment which my other classmates did with difficulty but still they did, I felt I was good for nothing. Most of my life I made stupid and hypocritical decisions of sticking to my principles in times like this, resulting in me standing in a corner with my anxiety and depression all over the place with a banner of pride in my hand. I said hypocritical, because there are situations where I don't mind breaking my own promises, there are situations when I'm so angry at the world and people in it that I don't want to do anything with them, even better, move to a remote island with no trace of human life. The best part? When I'm calm and not angry, I realise the world is not that bad of a place. So I didn't submit the assignment, I didn't copied from my fellow classmates, result?I have an extension, though the professor would deduct marks for late submission, but the satisfaction of doing that on my own would probably be worth it.
And once again I start fighting back with my self, with the egoistic, pessimistic self. The one who is lazy and doing right things for the wrong reasons. And yeah, I asked a colleague to help me out with the issues, like he would just clear some doubts then I'm on my own.
#selfesteemisgoodbutegoisveryproblematic.

............................................
A.N.
I'm sorry for the delay. I was having so many assignments and projects, I still have but writing this is like a self talk, with the exception of people listening to it. 😅
If anyone is reading this, write me back, correct me or not (smiles sheepishly) .
But I'd love to hear back from you.
And you can share your experiences of fighting your own bad habits or problems or any story of your life that you want to share with someone but don't know who, I can be that person.
Keep smiling and keep fighting.