Just me.

One more time

I've taken control and lost it all, again and again. All that remained constant was not just my failures but also my will to get up again.
I can say I give up easily but I can also say I come back again a little differently than the last time.
There are days when I want to sleep and never wakeup, but there are days when I want to experience everything . I'm confused, lost, hopeless sometimes, clueless as well.
But I'm full of energy on days, walk around as if I own the whole world. I wanted to be different, I never was. So I started to look close, and the similarities are the coolest qualities I have.
I want to fall in love and desire love in return, but I want to be independent and capable of being on my own. I want to have a beautiful body that make heads turn, but I'm too lazy to exercise or too much of an idiot to make the right decisions.
I want my crush to like me back but I crush hearts, I'm a attention whore sometimes and somedays I want to be invisible.
I preach of high living standards and hardwork in life, I preach how I want to be morally right, but when. I'm alone I'm know with a different name "Hippocratic dumbass". Trust me all the negative words I say about my self, I don't mean them all the time. Sometimes I just want someone to tell me that I'm none of those.
So again I'll start and I'll try to actually achieve it and do something different for real.
I'll try to be consistent this time. I'll try to actually get what I need

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Happy new year people. So if you have lost the hope that you can actually ever change, I would like to make a request to you guys to try one more time. We can help each other. And this is cause I think that if I have someone with me I'll last longer. If you're already fighting than keep on going. You can do this. And I can as well. It's not about if we can or cannot do it, it's about are we willing to do it for ourselves for people depending on us, people rooting for us, for our dreams which will be so much better in reality. If yes, then the next question comes is how. We can find that out, cause, when there's a will there's a way.