Finding Sam (Featured)

Chapter 32 - Moving Mountains

I didn't want to leave Anna just then but at the same time, I was tired. I wanted the warmth of my bed, and if only I had my way, I wanted Erik in it as well. But for now, the prospect of my bed was good enough for me as I allowed my mother to walk me down the stairs and into my car.

While I was with Anna, Adina had made me a fresh batch of chechebsa, complete with fresh yoghurt she had made the night before. Packed in a plastic container, she handed it to me and made me promise to bring Michael over so she could see him - and if she had her way, spoil him.

What had begun as a terrifying expectation that things would turn out for the worst when I decided to see Anna ended up taking me by surprise. Somehow, the other shoe had not dropped at all, though at the back of my mind, I could feel the fear nagging at me, taunting me, and just waiting to catch me completely unawares.

The drive home took about forty minutes, and I ate every single one of the Ethiopian pancakes Adina made, reserving the yoghurt for when I finally got home. Each bite took me back in time, forgoing the bad to remember only the good days, usually with Adina and her family providing me some comfort whenever Anna was gone - usually for days a time. Sometimes, Roy had to bail her out of jail for solicitation, and once, for vagrancy. Since then, if she did shoot up, she did at home - only she was not just lost to the world, but to me as well.

Still, seeing Anna alive, even with her missing teeth and scarred skin, the yellowish eyes that told me she wasn't telling me whole truth about her health, gave me a huge sense of relief that I could not describe, and I wanted Michael to meet her as soon as possible. I had colored my life's palette with only the darkest shades that life had to offer, without considering that sometimes, people find their way to the light, no matter how long it takes to find it - and that I should at least give her another chance, the way Eunice gave me that chance to a new life when she took me in. It gave me some hope, at least, that things were going to turn out right for Anna as she worked her way to detoxing the drugs from her body.

I would deal with the jaundiced eyes later.

The house was dark when I arrived, and I was relieved to see that Erik was not waiting for me. I didn't know what I was going to say, how I was going to explain why I never said anything about Anna, or my actions in the parking lot when I pretended not to know her. But though I felt relieved at first, I could feel a part of me disappointed that he wasn't there.

But then, what did I expect? Anna's words saying that Erik was in love with me had given me a false hope, one that was shattered the moment I saw that my driveway was empty and that he wasn't there waiting for me. When I glanced at my phone, he hadn't called either.

Still, as I took a shower, a feeling of relief washed over me, feeling the warm water beating against my skin. It felt almost as if I'd cleansed something from deep inside me, the shame of my past slowly washing away and hopefully in its place, the full acceptance of things as they really were, not the way I always expected them to be, colored only by doom and gloom.

So my mother was an addict. So she had to whore herself to get the drugs, as David claimed. So what? What mattered now was that she was trying to get clean and healthy again. She had decided to return to the land of the living.

My doorbell rang just as I stepped out of the bathroom dressed only in my robe, my long hair wrapped in a towel. I could see Erik through my window, pacing across the landing. If there was anyone who could rock a plain gray t-shirt and sweat pants, it was Erik. My heart pounded inside my chest, excitement building with each passing minute, and by the time he rang the doorbell the second time, I was as giddy as a schoolgirl on prom night.

"Hey, beautiful," he said as I ran up to him, jumping into his arms as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt his arms circle me, tightening around my waist and holding me tightly, his lips buried in the curve of my neck. I had forgotten all about my little tantrum earlier that evening, nor the realization that he already knew what Anna was to me. The feel of him holding me overpowered every other thought inside my head.