If Only ⇢ Kai x Ein

⇢ Chapter 11

Kai's P.O.V

It felt like it has been forever since we left the ground, when in reality, it had only been an hour and a half.

I had no idea how far Starlight Wonderland is from where we were located, I should have asked.

I was eager to bring up a conversation since the whole plane ride so far as been silent, neither me or Ein have spoken a word to eachother.

I will admit that I usually enjoy quiet, since living with Jax and Ryder for so many years has made me realise that that's quite impossible. They never shut up.

However, something about being with Ein, the boy I've been looking for my whole life, who is currently squished up next to me, resting his head on the other side of the square box, makes me just want to talk to him forever, I still have so many questions for him, but I decided that right now isn't the time to ask, since they are a bit invasive and I'm sure that he's not ready to share those with anybody, especially me, a stranger.

It made me feel extremely guilty seeing what happened to Ein, yet I didn't stop it earlier or prevent it a long time ago. I did try to, twelve times, actually.

I attempted to break into the prison he was sent to for a while after nearly killing Kacey. But obviously I never succeeded, I only caused more reason for the police to hunt me down. So I told myself that he'll be out soon, and I'll see him again one day, just to ease my nerves.

I wanted to help him, I wanted to assist him in re-adjusting his life, I wanted to help him feel happiness. Back in high school, he only believed that becoming an alpha was the answer to his problems, he thought he needed to become strong in order to avenge what happened to his parents, and that broke my heart. I wanted to help him believe that violence is never the answer and that he doesn't need to be strong, being an omega doesn't necessarily make him any weaker. if only I did that sooner and didn't just run away like a coward.

If you haven't noticed, i'm the type of guy who is eager to help people that I love. You may not believe that since I am known as a criminal in my hometown, but I do take risks, I quite frankly regret ever robbing shops just to ease my anger and fit in with Jax and Ryder, I thought that all they wanted to do was illegal acts, so I did that in order to fit in so they wouldn't leave me behind, since they were currently all I had. Which I was so wrong, Jax and Ryder were nearly in the same position as me. However, I don't regret disciplining people who despise werewolves. You may find that weird, a meif'wa standing up for werewolves, well let me correct you, I'm standing up for a werewolf.

Love can make people do crazy things, but I just want him to be happy, and I wish I could do that without hurting others, but if they are the reason for his hurting, then they get what they deserve. I'm not going to helplessly stand here when I know that I can help. Hence why I left home, I was sick of being forced to do something that I don't want to do, while there's other things in this world that are more important to me, such as Ein, Jax, and Ryder. I will admit, sometimes I do miss home, but I doubt my parents miss me, they told me to leave afterall, and surely they saw all the headlines about my criminal acts. It's not worth going back.

It's quite strange for me to call Ein and I's relationship 'love', but I honestly don't know what else to call it.

"Hey, are you okay? You seem tense.." Ein suddenly said, distracting me from my deep thoughts.

"O-Oh.. Yeah I'm okay, sometimes I just think too hard.." I admitted, looking turning my head to face him with a sincere smile. It's true. I am an overthinker, I really like to elaborate all my thoughts, which gets me stressed out sometimes.

"I see" He smiled. "You don't want to go back home, right? I'm sorry for forcing you into this, I should have just gone alone, I feel as though I've already invaded your life enough." Ein states.

You are my life; is what I wanted to tell him, which I knew that would be too creepy and I'd have to tell him everything, so I stayed quiet about it.

"No! It's okay, really, I want to help you, Ein, it's what I've wanted to do for so long, I just want you to be happy and if this will make you happy, then it's a risk on willing to take, I'm just a bit worried.." I trailed off.

"Worried? About what?" Ein asks softly.

"About what we're going there for. Changing back into a werewolf with the eyes of an ultima... Isn't that really dangerous? You have a chance of dying, Ein, and that scares me." I admitted.

Ein looked shocked for a moment, until he opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again.

"Isn't there another way? This way is too risky, and I don't like it, how will we even convince Aaron to turn you back? We didn't even think this through well enough, I just-" I began, but got cut off when Ein grabbed my hand and held it in his, causing me to gasp and look into his eyes.

"Kai, listen to me when I say this, you have helped me so much, without you, I would most likely be dead right now, or the man who forced me to make all the potions would have made me do something worse, or even killed me himself. Understand that you have nothing to be worried about, I promise you that I want this, and I'm willing to take this risk. My inner werewolf is part of my identity and I'm proud to be one, like sure, being a human may be great but I can't stand to be the kind that killed my parents. I know I did horrible things in the past just to be stronger to potentially avenge my parents, but now I realise that it's too late, and I was young anyway so I couldn't have done it either way. I was stupid, I regret it all. I just wanted to feel powerful." He started.

"I don't care about how strong I am anymore, I know my parents wouldn't care. I just feel like I've disappointed them with who I have become. I see that now, all I want is my true identity back, it helps me to feel connected to them, it's all I have left." He smiled and looked down, hands still holding mine.

"I am actually thankful that Aaron took away my ears and tail, without that, then I probably would have never realised that what I was doing wasn't okay, it was a good punishment for my actions, but your extra help has inspired me too. Hearing your story, and you knowing about mine makes me feel like we are connected in a way that I never would have imagined." He finished and looked into my eyes, he looked as though he was on the verge of tears, and as was I.

I was truly speechless by his choice of words. It made my heart melt. Hearing that I helped him, just made all my negative thoughts disappear, it's all I wanted to do, afterall, and if getting his ears and tail back would help even more, then I would be happy too, but the risks still existed, and I couldn't even imagine how it would feel to loose him. A boy that I wanted to help and protect for all these years, gone..

"Ein, I... T-Thank you.." I let out in soft whispers. I wanted to hug him right now, but in the position we were currently in, that would be quite impossible.

"I-I feel like we're connected too, which is why I'm so worried about the consequences of this risk, I still have so many things I want to tell you, and learn about you, I'm sorry if I look desperate, but I just want to help you even more, I really want you to be happy, it's all I've ever wanted." I said, tears now freely spilling from my eyes.

"Kai.. I understand your worry, how about we talk about this when we successfully arrive in Starlight? For now, we should rest, we have a long journey ahead of us." He cooed, stroking my cheek softly to wipe my tears, making my heart flutter even more. I could tell he was trying to hold in his tears. I've never felt so vulnerable for someone.

"Y-Yeah, good idea.." I whispered softly and sniffed.

Ein smiled at me warmly and pulled me closer if that was even possible, until I fell asleep to the beautiful sound of his heart beats. A sound that I want to hear for the rest of my life.