The A-Force (Book 2/4)

Stories

Thor:

"Ms Foster, where are you going?" said the nurse as I stumbled out of the hospital.
"I dunno," I replied, "Moldova sounds rather nice this time of year". I'm not going back. Why should I? I've been in this dump for three years now, forced to a bed due to ruddy cancer. Ridiculous. If they wanted me to 'get well soon' I would've been out of there years ago. "Ms Foster, if you don't come back, you will die!" called the nurse after me.
"Eh, I'll take my chances," I replied to her, "Anyway, I gotta find my boyfriend". I stumbled rather clumsily out the hospital. I was drunk. Not in a bad way but it's only cause they needed to put a needle in me so I downed a bottle of Vodka. It's fine. Next stop, The Moon (The New Asgard).

I was quickly teleported through the Bifrost (an intergalactic portal) and landed on the newly colonised moon. There stood the Asgardians. They were grief-stricken. I would be too if my home was just burnt to the ground. I looked at my feet. There lay Mjolnir. Don't touch it Jane. I decided to examine it for a while. I then fondled the handle and lifted the hammer. I was immediately enveloped in a suit of armour. There was an iron breastplate, a helmet with small iron wings printed onto it and I had somehow gained black lipstick on my lips. Strange. But nevertheless, very cool. Now where's Thor? Oh yeah, he's unworthy. Oh well. I'll take over. There must always be a Thor...

Newscaster Supreme:

"And that concludes our 9 o'clock broadcast. Thank you for listening!" I said into the microphone. I took off my recording headphones and then turned to my co-host, Patsy. She was looking as tense as ever. She always thinks we could've done more. She's like my strict parent. If I don't do well she will murder me with a club or some other blunt object. She's quite peculiar like that. But I can't blame her. I am a bit lazy. But whatever, you know.

I walked out of the recording studio. It was raining outside. On the curb of the road stood a man. He was missing an eye and had black skin. He wore a grey suit without a tie and the breast pocket had a circular logo neatly stitched on it. He looked at me (as well as he could) and then beckoned at me with his hand. I stood there reluctantly. I could see him getting slightly annoyed. And then he said, "Hey, are you May?". I confirmed. Then he proceeded to say, "I'm Nick Fury, director of Shield. How'd you like being an agent?".

She-Hulk and Red She-Hulk:

"Jen, the fridge is empty!" called Betty.
"Oh no! Shock-horror!" I responded, with the sarcasm of a grandmother. That's all she cares about. Not me. Not her Dad, General Ross who's powers and red skin she miraculously inherited. As long as the fridge is full, she's content. "Ok I'm gonna go to the store now but on one condition. You gotta come with me, you country bumpkin". She agreed pretty quickly to this offer. Thank you lawyer skills. If I didn't study for 5 years at lawyer school, I'd be going alone.

We walked briskly into the dollar store. "K, take 2 bucks and get what you need". She quickly scurried off and I went to look at the drinks. I needed one after this week. She's given me a flipping headache. What with all this 'does my butt look big in this' to which I would always reply, "Betty, you're the daughter of the Red Hulk. You look big in everything because you're a big lady!". I picked up an entire bottle of Los Desperados Raspberry Tequila and drank it at three times the speed of sound. I then placed it back on the shelf, walking away slowly. They won't notice. I started to feel rather funny. I looked back at the bottle. Damn! I didn't grab the tequila. I grabbed... I don't know what I drank. I think it was blood. I hoped it wasn't but I knew that it was true. I felt rather strange. My skin was turning green. I was getting stronger by the second. I know who I am. I'm a Hulk!