Enemies With Benefits (Book One)

fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

Collin's P.O.V

Friday

After I read what Jennifer said, it took everything in my power for me to not completely snap on this chick. That was majorly due to the fact that I was indecisive on everything, how I should act, feel, the list honestly goes on. I care about Jenn, and I don't like the fact that I just hurt her the way that I did. I mean, I've said some awful shit to her, but none of it has caused her to retaliate like she just did. I can't help but to feel mad at myself because of that too.

One thing that I can't deny is that we both know how to push each other's buttons.

That girl is like something I've always hated that also has the potential to turn out to be the one thing that I truly needed. I hate everything about that, because it makes me feel like I'm not in control of anything at all. Which is probably why I always ruin every mushy emotion I feel by being a complete and total jackass.

In the beginning, I really didn't want to believe Amber, because I wouldn't allow anyone to tell me about myself. But Jennifer just might be the only exception.

Monday

In the cafeteria the following weekday, I sat with my friends and talked about generally nothing as usual.

"Hey, did you guys catch The Puppy Bowl last night?" Calvin questioned, catching the attention of everyone here at the table. "It was the one from earlier this year obviously, I can't wait for the one next February, do you guys watch?" All of us shook our heads slowly, but we couldn't even be surprised because that was usually something Calvin said all of the time.

"No, we're too busy watching the actual Super Bowl, you know, the sport?" Mateo tried, causing some of us to laugh, Calvin on the other hand just looked completely lost.

"... Why would I want to watch a bunch of dudes play catch when there is literally a program centered around dogs in costumes running around?" Cali genuinely inquired, causing Mat to sigh in defeat.

After doing so, I let out a small chuckle and turned to view him, only to get an eye full of something I hadn't prepared for. There, was Jennifer Crosby, walking towards her table with a lunch tray in her hands. I thought about how if we were actually on good terms right now, I'd text her something obscure to make her look around the cafeteria to find me, only so she could roll her eyes at me annoyingly.

I missed messing with her, but she hurt me as well with her comment, so I couldn't give in so soon. She wanted me to hurt the same way I had been making her, and I can finally see how much it sucks ass.

"Collin, what are you staring at?" George questioned, looking over his shoulder to follow my eye sight. When he realized who I had my focus on, he scoffed to himself before giving me his two cents. "Out of every girl you could have chosen to be hung over, you chose the one woman that doesn't want shit to do with you and never has."

"I know, I practically ruined any chance I could have ever had with her last night when I came at her and her little boyfriend." I report, recalling our text session last night, and I was still feeling it.

Suddenly, Jensen pipped up at the mention of Jennifer and Peter Smith. "You know, I heard that her and Peter broke up last week. He said that they're fucking around with other people until they get their shit together ... sounds kind of counter-productive if you ask me." The blonde informed, shoveling through his serving of mashed potatoes.

"You sure?" I question, not wanting to get too ahead of myself.

"Yes, he was talking to Darius about it, and he told me."

This new information didn't really change anything for me, because it won't erase anything that I said. All it did was ensure me of the fact that I added more onto her already heaping pile of emotional shit. On top of grieving Lilly Kent and her relationship with her long-term boyfriend, I was now a third source of stress.

A part of me hopes that she isn't still picking apart our conversation and beating herself up over it like how I am. Although, the other side wants her to be doing that exact thing, since it'll prove that she cares about me. Is it bad for me to wish that she is suffering only because it'll ensure me a spot in her mind?

Instead of obeying her and leaving her alone, I decided to text her to set one thing undeniably straight.

Me : I'm sorry

Me : please don't think that i'm pushing you away, because you're the one thing that i've held the closest.

Unfortunately, Jennifer never responded, which fucked me up even more. I suddenly realized that it was completely unfair of me to say that to her. She was right, she doesn't deserve someone like me, nobody does in fact. I have to just come to terms with the fact that I'm not meant to be in a relationship with anyone, I'm meant to sleep with every fucking chick that walks and breaths.

That's the bed that I have made for myself, and I have no choice but to lie in it.

Jennifer's POV

I cannot believe that Collin Myers had the audacity to text me during lunch, as if I literally didn't tell him to leave me the hell alone last night. I will admit it though, I was slightly taken back from what he said, since it wasn't totally unconvincing. One thing that's for sure is that he has fought to be known by me multiple times. No matter how many times I have told him that he's dead to me, or that I never wanted to see him again, his presence has never wavered.

Right now, I wasn't in the mood to forgive him, which is exactly why I didn't even acknowledge his message, as far as he knows. This isn't the first time that he has crossed the line, but this is the furthest I've gone to even the score. But what choice was I left with? Peter had messed up my head in a way I didn't even notice, and Collin just had to go and contribute. After all, what's a bout of stress without him in the picture?

Nothing, is the answer, which is exactly why I should have expected this from the very beginning.