FlyGirl - The First Edition

Chapter 3: I'm (not) crushing

The boys at the Porsche dealership were so sweet. They actually let me do a 24 hour test drive on this sweet $90,000 Porsche Carrera. It's awesome what my family's name and a black American Express can do for you. Within the hour, I was on my way out of Chicago.

I enjoyed my drive. It helped me clarify some things that had been floating around in my head. For example, I realized that I hadn't been paying enough attention to my portfolio. While my brother was a thief, it was my neglect of my finances which helped contribute to my brother's malfeasance. Had I been responsible, he couldn't have gotten away with it. Lesson learned. In the future, I would maintain a hawk's eye on my investments.

The second thing I realized was that I was going to keep the Porsche. In all honesty, I had intended to return it once I got my money back, but it was too sweet of a car. I passed a slow moving 18 wheeler without even tapping off the cruise control. Yeah. I'm keeping the car.

The third thing I realized was the fact that I wanted to have sex with Special Agent Donnelly. Out of all my thoughts, this was the most disturbing. It was so weird. I couldn't stand the guy. He was a grade A douchewad and an asshole on top of it. Why the hell would I be attracted to him? What is that all about?

More than that, I strongly felt that his behavior was completely unethical. So, using the car's bluetooth, I called the Chicago field office. "Special agent Donnelly," I told the receptionist.

"First name?"

"I don't know. Special Agent?"

She didn't seem to think this was funny. "Who's calling?"

"Siobhan McIver."

She put me on hold and a beat or two later, Donnelly answered. "McIver. Look at you calling me. I'm flattered. What can I do you for?"

"I know what you're doing," I told him. "It's unethical, you know."

"What am I doing that's unethical, McIver? Do tell."

"You're seducing me. It's unethical for a state actor to cultivate an informant by through the use of sexual manipulation."

He burst out laughing. "Is that what I'm doing? I had no idea." He dropped the phone down, and I heard him say, "Hey, Salim, did you know I was cultivating McIver through the use of sexual manipulation?"

Salim said something which I couldn't hear, but I heard Donnelly say, "Right. I know, I know." He picked the phone back up. "Salim says you're the one cultivating me through sexual manipulation."

"Keep Salim out of this. This is between you and I."

"Uh huh. See? You're seducing me by isolating me from my partner."

I rolled my eyes. "That's not...you're not...what I mean is..."

"Use your words, McIver."

"I'm not going to have sex with you," I blurted out.

"Oh McIver," he laughed, "I got you all hot and bothered, didn't I?" He whistled. "Methinks thou doest protest too much." He dropped the phone again. "Salim, check it out. McIver's admitting that she likes me."

"About time," I heard Salim say. "You two make a cute couple. Hey Siobhan," he yelled at me.

"Hey Salim," I shouted back. "I'm not admitting I like him. I'm admitting the opposite. I don't like him. I really don't like him."

"That's okay, Siobhan," he yelled. "He rubbed me wrong too when I first met him. Now my kid's call him Uncle Jason."

"Who's Uncle Jason?"