FlyGirl - The First Edition

Chapter 34: Practicing gratitude

IT WAS SATURDAY. Time for my weekly psych eval.

My therapist was totally on Alex's payroll. I could tell that from our first appointment. After the fifth time he had asked why I was afraid of Alex's love for me, I saw what was going on.

I didn't make it easy for him. Our sessions pretty much consisted of me telling him that Alex bought me, and him telling me that Alex didn't. I think he thought he was wearing me down. He wasn't.

We sat for a while and stared at each other, until my doctor said, "So, how was your week."

I didn't answer. I was too busy staring out the window. It was beautiful outside, too beautiful to be stuck talking about my feelings or whatever.

"Siobhan?"

I glanced at him. "What?"

"Your week?"

I shrugged. "It was okay. I'm still in stew school. Alex hasn't sold me off. Other than that, things are awesome."

He frowned and wrote something down. "Let's explore that. What do you mean by Alex selling you off? " He finger quoted the selling me off part.

I studied my nails. "I mean, Alex hasn't sold me off. It was something that Cesare, his brother, said. That if I didn't straighten up, they'd sell me."

My doctor chuckled. "I'm sure that he didn't mean that literally. You know Alex isn't going to sell you to anyone."

I smiled.

His smile faded. "Selling you would be human trafficking, Siobhan, and it's illegal. While I'm sure Alex wouldn't sell you because it's morally reprehensible, but the fact that it's also illegal - "

"It's only illegal if you get caught," I interrupted.

The doctor sighed. "Siobhan, why do you think Alex would sell you off?"

"I don't know. Because he bought me." I played with Useless's ears. "He could decide that I was a bad investment and sell me off."

The doctor took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "When you say he bought you, you mean it in the sense that you gave up your goals for financial comfort, correct?" He chuckled again. "I mean, the way you're saying it is that he bought you - "

"No. I mean that he bought me."

He looked up, a serious expression on his face. "Siobhan, Alex, didn't buy you."

"Yes, he did."

"No, he didn't. Alex didn't buy you, Siobhan. Think of it as more of a dowry." He uncrossed his legs, then crossed his legs. "Bridal dowries are still traditional in some parts of the world."

"So's female circumcision," I snorted. "Doc, you and I both know it wasn't a dowry. It was a sale. My brothers sold me to Alex, and in return, he gave them money so that the IRS wouldn't find out they'd been cooking the books. Or something like that." I waited for him to write whatever he was writing down and rubbed Useless's head. Useless sighed contently.

After he finished writing, he said, "Siobhan, let's play a word association game. I will say a word and you say a word back, the very first word that comes to mind. Okay?"

"Sure. Sounds insightful."

"Alright -"

"Next."

"I'm not - "

"What?"

"Wait -"

"Why?"

"Siobhan, stop it!"