Sun & Moon || Na Jaemin

Chapter 4: Seesaw

You were there whenever I needed someone.

♡

"How many times do I need to tell you that you need to stop with that nasally voice?"

"You're straining your voice and it sounds horrid. Listen to me for once!"

"You look like you have dead fish eyes. You can't debut if you're going to be like that."

It... wasn't easy.

She knew that becoming a trainee at SM, it was going to be hard. So incredibly hard to stay. It didn't matter how talented a person can be, surely they were going to be pointed out for something. To be told off and to be critical about.

She knew that ever since before she ever thought of training at SM.

But to actually be in the moment, and to be harshly put down... it wasn't something she was expecting all of a sudden.

Why did she think for a split second that it'd be different for her?

"You need to stop. I don't think what I'm teaching you is going through to you. I need to move on to the next one. Sit out for now until you get it right."

The paper of the song they were practicing through crumpled in Geurim's hands. She had gone through the same verses for thirty minutes with the trainer, wasting everyone's time in that practice room.

She could only bow in apology and return back to her seat within the other trainees. It had been so uncomfortably silent as she tried to get her voice to do what the trainer wanted.

She turned her gaze to the ceiling, trying so hard to not let the tears fall from her eyes.

But she was so frustrated.

And the rest of that lesson, Geurim wasn't given the chance to redeem herself. Her mind had tried to process her trainer's words as best as she could. She waited and waited. She wanted to show that she can do it, and that the trainer can believe in her. That she wasn't a mistake to be an SM trainee.

But, the lesson had ended.

And she missed her chance to.

"Geurim..." Her same-aged friend, Hina, patted her back. Geurim smiled weakly over at her, at least she did great today. "Don't beat yourself over it."

"I know, but I'm just disappointed."

"Yeah... Show Trainer Kim that you got it next week, okay? I feel like she had been so hard on you. You don't deserve to be criticized as much as you did. You'll get it!" Hina told her with an encouraging tone. She shook her shoulders, as if to shake Geurim out of her slump, and grinned at her. "We're done today, so do you want to do anything? We can try to find if Koeun-unnie is free?..."

She shook her head at the Japanese girl. "It's okay. I think I'll do a bit more practicing and I'll head home."

"Aw, okay. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

Geurim waved her goodbyes to Hina as they walked away from each other. While her friend went to leave to the first floor, Geurim wandered about to find an empty practice room. It wasn't until she stopped at one particular room and peered inside.