Sun & Moon || Na Jaemin

Chapter 10: Heat

I became too dependent and honestly, I was trying hard to figure things out (with myself).

♡

Woo Geurim didn't mean to distance herself away from her friends at SM... but it naturally became that way.

Ever since NCT Dream debuted and they were off doing their promotions and extra activities, that was it.

Her days were god-forbiddingly lonely.

Walking to school, taking her classes, going straight to SM to train, and then going home. Those moments used to be filled with comfort and laughter from her friends that she would always be with. But now, it was a silent routine, with only Gowon to save her days.

If it weren't for Gowon, Geurim would have felt that she teleported back to her middle school days, where she had been an outcast. Free time spent either at the library or at home; just a lone girl doing whatever satisfies her. No friends.

She never wants to go back to those days.

Not when she experienced the warmth of having someone to rely on.

However, where was that?

Her days of training at SM was an endless cycle. She wasn't seeing any hope for debuting soon, so there wasn't even much she could do right now. Practices weren't required. She was in the position where she had no reason to come unless it was for her own personal gain.

Which was why she did go.

Geurim still wanted to improve.

She wanted to be where Jaemin was too. Hopefully, the efforts would be noticed... and yet, everything was always a mystery with SM.

Sometimes, she wondered why she couldn't be satisfied at where she was now.

It wasn't like she was unknown. Ever since becoming an SM Rookie and appearing on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, she had her fair share of being noticed. It melted her heart, an instant giddiness, that people have recognized and acknowledged her talents. They praised her and gushed how they were excited about her debut.

But then the question of when would always evade her mind. The joy she once had for being noticed would vanish in a mere second. She would then rapidly say her thanks and hurry away before she could hear more of it.

She hates it.

She really does hate it.

It was tiring being seen as someone that can't be touched because she was a trainee from SM. "You're so great. I'm jealous of you." Constantly, she gets those comments, and she can't help but fake a smile every time.

She used to be proud of it.

It was only months before she took pride of being an SM trainee.

But now she felt like a snob about it. She didn't want to rub it in the faces that she was a part of one of the Big 3 companies. She wasn't like that. Suddenly, it felt like a burden to be one. Everyone has so much expectation, could she even achieve what everyone wants from her? It was one of the main reasons why she pushes herself to go to these draining practices, even while it's done mostly by herself.