Fearless (Bellamy Blake - Book 1)

Chapter 22.

I must have fallen asleep pretty quickly because I soon awake with a start when I hear someone crying. At first I think it's me, but I soon realise it's Charlotte.

This is the second time I've seen Charlotte have nightmares, and it makes me wonder how horrible it must be to watch your parents get floated.

"No!" She calls out, and Bellamy and I abruptly sit up and I shift around to he other side of Bellamy's legs so we can both  lean on the rock edge before Charlotte.

"Charlotte, wake up." He gently shakes her awake, and she looks at us guiltily.

"I'm sorry."

"Does it happen often? What are you afraid of?" He asks, watching her as she sighs and glances up at me. "You know what, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you do about it."

"But...I'm asleep." She looks at him sceptically and even I have to admit I'm confused as to where he's going with this.

"Fears are fears," he tells her, "slay your demons when you're awake, they won't be there to get you when you sleep." 

I small frown etches onto my face. 

I used to think like this, if what was scaring me in real life couldn't hurt me anymore, then I would never be afraid again, but I was wrong, trying to overcome my fears just caused me to lose the ones I love.

"Yeah, but...how?" Charlotte asks.

"You can't afford to be weak. Down here, weakness is death, fear is death." 

He's right about that at least. 

"Let me see that knife I gave you." Charlotte hands him the knife and he grips it firmly in his hand. "Now, when you feel afraid, you hold tight to that knife and you say, 'screw you, I'm not afraid.'" He hands the knife back to her and she grips it tight like he did with both hands.

"Screw you, I'm not afraid." She says rather monotone, I'm not looking at his face but I assume Bellamy gives her a look as if to say 'you can do better' because she repeats it with more confidence.

"Slay your demons kid. Then you'll be able to sleep." He pats her leg and silence fills to cave.

"Carter?" Charlotte's quiet voice snaps me out of my daze and I suddenly realise I've been string at the knife in her hands.

I force a smile onto my face as I address her, "Hey, you wanna talk about your nightmare?"

She shakes her head but looks as if she wants to say something, and after a moment of plucking up the courage she looks up at me again. 

"What do you get nightmares about? Is it your parents?"

My breath hitches in my throat and my entire body freezes, an action that doesn't go unnoticed by Charlotte as she starts to apologise.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." She looks down at the knife in her hand. "I heard some of the guys back at camp talking about you. About what happened, what you did to your dad."

"What is she talking about?"

Bellamy's voice brings me back to reality and I quickly blink back tears and take a deep breath, avoiding his eye and looking at Charlotte instead.

"Yeah." I answer her, "Yeah, I get nightmares about my parents. I was only a year or so older than you when..." I pause and look down at my lap. "Slaying my demons didn't make anything better for me, Charlotte, but that doesn't mean it'll be that way for you."

She nods slowly and I give her another false smile and place a hand on her arm, "Try and get some sleep." 

Charlotte nods again and lies back down, bringing Bellamy's jacket over her body once more and I force myself to finally meet Bellamy's gaze. 

Big mistake.

He looks at me with so much intensity I'm surprised he doesn't burn a hole through my skin. I can practically see the gears moving in his head, trying to figure out what Charlotte knows and why I haven't told him. 

I need to get out of this goddamn cave before I start spilling everything. 

I move back beside Bellamy silently, well aware of his eyes on me, watching my every move. I lay back down on the cold, hard ground and place my head back on my jacket, my back facing Bellamy.

There's a few minutes of silence before I hear Bellamy move to lie down, and I assume he thinks I'm asleep from his next words, his voice quiet. 

"One day you'll tell me the truth, and maybe I'll even tell you mine as well."